Before I came to work for Paula, I spent several years working for various cosmetic companies, usually at the department store. For the most part, I enjoyed it. I taught myself how to do makeup, and developed a loyal clientele of regulars who requested my advice on what to purchase or how to apply it. But whether I worked at stores in the Midwest, south, or northwest United States, one thing was constant: women shopping for a new lipstick routinely gravitated toward colors that were similar if not nearly identical to what was already in their purse or on their vanities.

Here’s how the average scenario went: a woman approaches the counter with determined gusto and surveys the lipstick tester unit. I greet her and offer assistance, to which her response is that she’s “looking for a new color”. After a few questions to narrow down her preferences (creamy, matte, sheer, bright or muted colors, etc.) I make some suggestions. Sometimes that worked, sometimes it didn’t. After some frustrating experiences, I began asking women to show me the lipstick they use most often. It was almost always a pink-brown shade or a nude color. That’s fine, but then why, if you’re shopping for a new color, did they end up choosing something barely different from what they routinely wear?

I’d suggest going lighter, darker, more shimmery, pinker, or even (horrors!) trying a red tone, almost always to no avail. I have spoken to many women about this over the years, including those in my family and personal friends. None of them could give me a reasonable explanation for why they shop for a new lipstick color and end up purchasing the same type of shade they’ve always worn. So I have my own theory: the novelty and excitement of shopping for a new lipstick, that one shade that will give you an added boost and make people take notice (for the better) is just too irresistible. It gets women to the cosmetic counter, but when it comes time to select a truly new color, they back down and stick with what’s safe.

Perhaps they don’t want to leave feeling they’ve wasted their money (nowadays a department store lipstick can set you back $23 or more) or perhaps common sense prevails and they rationalize that what they chose is different enough to work, and hey, they really will wear it. Maybe that’s why free gifts with purchase are so popular: women can spend the qualifying amount on a product they’re certain they like and will use, yet still have the impetuous fun of trying new colors without the financial commitment. As for me, I learned that if I only suggested “new” colors that were slightly different than what the customer typically wore, she’d leave happy—and I’d have my commission and, more than likely, a repeat customer!

Did You Know? According to a survey conducted by Estee Lauder, more than 80% of women own at least one tube of lipstick; Women over the age of 35 use lipstick more frequently than younger women; Paula’s favorite cosmetic lines for those looking for gorgeous red lipsticks include Revlon, Lorac, Vincent Longo, and Trish McEvoy.

Last year when I was on a media tour in Australia I was being interviewed by a radio reporter who clearly did not think makeup or skin care was of any importance. If anything, she opined it oppressed women and set unrealistic standards of appearance that disempowered them. While I can hold my own in most any interview situation (I’ve done thousands of them over the years) I’m not a sociologist and prefer not being in the role of social commentator. My work is primarily about whether or not products can live up to their claims and are they worth the money or are there less expensive alternatives. It’s not that I don’t have opinions (clearly I am one extremely opionated woman), it’s just that while getting off my topic can be challenging I don’t think it’s all that interesting for the women listening to the discussion; they want to know if Lauder’s new product is good for them. But back to the point I was making about this interview…

I agreed with this reporter that overdoing anything can be a problem, but I insisted it was about perspective and that the goal of being attractive is powerful in any culture for both men and women. I tried to explain that she was mixing up her understandable disgust of the over-eroticized, misogynistic depiction of women in Western culture versus what it means to look beautiful and appealing without looking like a “hooker”. She seemed to tolerate that point, but then the discussion went off into the direction of fighting wrinkles and we went back to a discussion of social standards. I said there was nothing sexy about growing old. She really didn’t like that comment and responded by saying that in some cultures older women are revered. I said I didn’t want to be revered, I wanted a date for Saturday night. Sometimes it really is just about being attractive and looking young and, hopefully, more desirable. I’m fairly certain this reporter is not going to have me back on her radio show anytime soon, but I am also fairly certain I’ll look a heck of a lot better than her in 20 years!

I’ve witnessed the attacks from both sides of the counter. As a fragrance customer, I’ve had to stand and wait while two fragrance salespeople bicker over who was helping whom, who got so-and-so to make a purchase, and whose “turn” it is to ring in a sale. As a cosmetics employee at department stores, I’ve had to struggle with getting past the fragrance associates for a bottle of something a customer I’ve been working with wants to buy. Either way, entering this sea of sharks without knowing how to swim isn’t fun, and either way, it’s embarrassing for the associates and makes the customer uncomfortable. I don’t know what it is about fragrance salespeople that make them so competitive and, well, shark-like (ask anyone who works around these people what a “shark” is and they’ll know what to say).

In many ways, fragrance is an easy sell. After all, everyone wants to smell good, especially younger customers with money to burn (and significant others to find). I’ve rarely seen a fragrance salesperson have to work too hard to get a sale. In fact, I think the average car salesperson would find a day at the fragrance counters to be as stressful as a nap! There isn’t even a lot to learn in order to convincingly sell fragrances. Sure, knowing the brand history and individual notes (accords) is impressive, but what ultimately gets the consumer to buy is their personal impression of the scent itself, which is much more subjective than purchasing foundation or a moisturizer. It boils down to money, and how quickly it adds up for those who are aggressive in their tactics to sell fragrance.

Of course, that leads to all manner of drama (the thin-skinned rarely survive) that often plays out in front of customers.  That’s why when I shop for fragrance, I let the salesperson know I am testing scents on my own, and am not intending to make a purchase. If you say this firmly (but nicely) enough, they’ll leave you alone and move on to the next victim, er, customer. Of course, not all fragrance salespeople are shark-like but it seems such gentle fish are few and far between (maybe because they get stuck with the off-hours shifts?).

My advice to fragrance salespeople with shark-like tendencies: learn to share the waters and play fairly. There are more than enough customers to go around, and they don’t want to endure a behind-the-scenes drama as they shop and sniff.

A few months back headlines in the British news mentioned that an ad for mascara in a popular fashion magazine wasn’t a picture of the model wearing the advertised mascara but, horrors of horrors, she was really wearing false eyelashes. When a U.S. reporter called to ask for my opinion about this revelation my immediate reaction was, you’ve got to be kidding. I thought this can’t be the first time anyone noticed this! In the 30 years I’ve been part of the cosmetics industry I’m fairly certain I have never seen an ad for mascara where the model wasn’t wearing false eyelashes (at least individual false lashes, meticulously placed).

What I found jaw-dropping is that these reporters and editors thought this was newsworthy. How can this possibly be considered news of any kind? Have these reporters (all women) never really looked at an ad for a cosmetic that closely before? Are we so easily fooled by something this obvious? Talk about missing the elephant in the room! Next thing you know the news will be reporting on the revelation that pictures in magazines are extensively retouched via sophisticated computer programs or that the makeup on the model is rarely, if ever, the product or products being advertised. And any model over age 35 without a trace of visible wrinkles? Give me a break!

Respectfully, I know that on some level we know these ads are phony, but the desire to believe otherwise, to want the fantasy that a mere purchase of a mascara, foundation, or anti-wrinkle cream can truly alter our everyday appearance to the sublime is overwhelming for most women. That’s where our hope turns us into gullible, susceptible innocents at the mercy of the cosmetics industry. We’re ready to believe whatever they tell or show us. And don’t think you aren’t influenced, because you are. Those ads generate humongous sales or companies wouldn’t endlessly spend millions of dollars every month on myriad ads in major fashion magazines and on television to get your attention.

If you want to avoid getting sucked in the next time you pick up a fashion magazine or see an ad on television, here are the basics to remember:

1. Models and celebrities in fashion advertising are already gorgeous, with perfect skin and features. They can be enhanced but they started out with the bar already set above us mere mortals. Every model has been further transformed by talented makeup artists, hairstylists, stylists, and lighting experts.
2. Even after all the coifing, styling, makeup, posing, and the thousands of pictures taken so the best one can be selected, the picture is still extensively touched up to remove or drastically soften any flaws. I’ll never forget the time a model told me that she doesn’t look as good in real life as she does in pictures.
3. The women in hair dye ads do not get that color from the dye being advertised. Those highlights and flowing tresses took experts a great deal of time to achieve. The look was accomplished in a salon after hours of processing and styling, not in the model’s bathroom!
4. The women in the ads for shampoos and conditioners did not get their hair to look that way because of any shampoo or conditioner. It took lots of highlights, blow drying, flat ironing, curlers, styling products, and on and on to achieve the look that finally gets photographed for the ad.
5. Regardless of the claims asserted and the claims about what studies show, if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t true. All cosmetic companies hire labs to create studies that prove their claims. My favorite example is ProActiv. Their results are stilted and embellished. The research on acne treatment does not support what they claim is true for their products (even Jessica Simpson on her own reality show said Accutane is what cured her acne!).
6. Wrinkle creams don’t replace plastic surgery, Botox, dermal injections, lasers, or light treatments, regardless of the name brand or who is selling the product (and it’s often a doctor who performs the real deal procedures, which is incredibly disingenuous).

There are many products out there that can make a noticeable difference in your appearance. But trying to live up to the images used to sell these products—expecting your results will be the same—is the stuff dreams are made of!

Read it all..

For those of you who know Paula’s work, and given I’m Paula’s Customer Service manager, you may think that sounds blasphemous. Well, that was my stance a few years back. Being both African American and Caucasian, I have naturally tan skin that rarely burns so, I figured there was no need for sunscreen. Interestingly enough, I actually got this idea from my mother who is Caucasian even though she herself wore sunscreen due to having a fair complexion.

Of course along with others, I enjoyed many days outdoors without a care or thought about how the sun was affecting my skin. Who could blame me? Since the damage is silent and for the most case invisible (unless you get a burn), it seems as if nothing is happening.

When I began working for Paula’s Choice, I found that while people with a darker complexion may have a lower risk of sunburn and skin cancer, they are in no way immune to the damage caused by the sun. I also found out that sun exposure is a huge contributor to wrinkles and those pesky little brown spots and ashy skin tone women of color like me don’t like.

Unfortunately, I didn’t just read about these things, I actually began to see them happening (even though I was now using sunscreen, some damage had already been done from my years of neglect). My skin started to look a little blotchy, uneven and didn’t seem to feel as soft. The dead give away though; you got it, those darn brown spots which I had always thought were just age spots anyway. While the first noticeable one above my lip wasn’t bad (I actually even thought of it as little Marilyn Monroe-ish), they seemed to be creeping up all over now and not just on my face. I began to notice a few on my chest and forearms.

Flash backs of baby oil and water bottles came to mind along with full days out in the sun, just lying there soaking it all up. What the heck had I been thinking? Actually I wasn’t thinking and that is the difference between then and now. There is information available and there are products that can help address damage that has already been done as well as products that will help prevent future damage. Trust me, sunscreen is a part of my routine now 365 days a year, rain or shine without fail. It has just become a habit and a good one that I share with the rest of my family (especially my teenage girls) and my skin definitely looks the better for it. Paula often comments on how beautiful my skin looks.

So if you’re feeling the way I used to, the whole ”I don’t really need sunscreen” thing,  think again because everything you do comes to light one day and unless you are going for that uneven, weathered, freckly look, then I suggest you get your hands on a good broad spectrum product and start applying liberally!

As Paula’s assistant and co-writer, I see many reader emails that show up in her Inbox. Without question, many of them have to do with the fear that comes from potentially ominous information about common cosmetic ingredients. People want to know if sunscreen actives cause cancer, if sodium lauryl sulfate seeps through the brain to cause neurological disorders, and if parabens are conspiring to wipe out the human race. Questions about parabens come up most often; reading the links people send us, you’d swear this group of preservatives was responsible for everything from the common cold to the Iraq war and threats of global warming!

What’s particularly frustrating is that the facts are often left out. A snippet of bad press about a cosmetic ingredient can quickly snowball into mass confusion, with people approaching their personal care products the same way they’d approach a haunted house–with great trepidation.

Paula and I work diligently to not only examine the source(s) leading people to fear the unknown about their cosmetics, but also what the body of research states about these ingredients. Almost without exception, what is presented as fact is either false or one-sided. What’s known about most cosmetic ingredients people have begun to view suspiciously is that they are safe as used. There is no cause for alarm, but an All is Well headline doesn’t grab much attention. In the case of preservatives, it is considerably scarier to think of what might happen if they were not in many of the cosmetic products we use daily. The unchecked growth of microbes in such products could cause some serious health problems—but that fact is almost always left out of any “reporting” or press release about the alleged evils of common cosmetic ingredients.

Did You Know? 

• In the United States, all of the parabens have GRAS (Generally Recognized as Safe) status at usage levels of 0.1% per paraben (a common amount per paraben used in cosmetics)
• Parabens need a water medium to function best
• Parabens are used in over 22,000 products 
• Parabens are derived from raspberries 

He came home from the local salon with his hair looking better than I’d ever seen it. You didn’t have to be a hairdresser to see this was a great cut. And the salon was close enough to get to on foot. And they have a fireplace and serve you lattes. This was getting very tempting, but I think of myself as someone who is not easily seduced. I was wrong.

It only took me a few days to make my appointment. This was my first venture to a new salon since 2002, when I first let Christopher take scissors to my strands. I didn’t think anyone else could do a better job, because up to that point no one had. Getting to Christopher’s salon had become quite the trek since I relocated from the city to the burbs. Now, a salon appointment involved nearly an hour’s drive both ways. But it was worth it, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself. Besides, Christopher always has a glass of red wine for me, and the latest gossip (he being a swinging single and me being happily settled).

But I just couldn’t resist trying this new salon, after all, the goal is great looking hair and vanity often has no boundaries. I think I was more nervous than a teenager on a first date, which I was certain the assistant could tell by the way I gripped the shampoo chair, not quite ready to make my way to the stylist’s seat for the snipping to begin. I needn’t have worried or felt so guilty: Sarah, my new stylist, who I was soon to become devoted to, was energetic, eager, and full of ideas. She spent an hour cutting and styling my hair, being precise and reassuring the entire time. I loved the cut. It was perfect in every way but the styling clinched it. Christopher never styled my hair in a manner I really liked. But he cut my hair well, so I let it go, reasoning I was being too fussy. Sarah got it right, and without any guidance from me. In fact, I didn’t have plans for afterwards but felt compelled to make some, just to show off my new haircut!

The real moment of truth came when I went in to see Christopher for highlights a few weeks later. He knew something was up—but he liked my hair. I expected to come off as sheepish but instead said with an authoritative tone I was now seeing someone else for haircuts. I was surprised at my own conviction. Christopher will remain my go-to guy for color (Sarah specializes in cutting). It turned out to be a great division of duties, though I did have to convey to Christopher my anxiety over seeing someone new, which stroked his ego a bit (always very important to do before someone applies bleach to your hair).

Despite my anxiety, I discovered that having a monogamous relationship with your hairstylist doesn’t always work to your advantage. And it’s reassuring to know that my neighborhood salon is every bit as good as my big city standby!

Almost eight years ago I sat in Paula Begoun’s office in my red sport coat and tie having a conversation (OK, an interview) that would drastically change my future. I was working as a retail manager in cosmetics, and was ready for a change. Having been a fan of Paula’s books for years, I decided to visit her Web site, something I had not done in several months. As luck would have it, there was an employment ad on the home page for a makeup artist/journalist. I knew the makeup part quite well, and journalism was what I studied in college, so I applied. I had no idea if I would hear back from Paula. I didn’t know if she’d be comfortable talking with a man about cosmetics, seeing as her readership was predominantly female. But you never know unless you give it a go, so I did. About a week later I was meeting the Cosmetics Cop in person, being quizzed about ingredients, what I like and don’t like about working in the cosmetics industry, even which fashion magazines I routinely read. Although I was nervous, it was the first interview in my working life that felt natural rather than stilted.

The original interview actually turned into several more, with various job-related tests being assigned. Paula was nervous about hiring a co-writer, and had doubts that she’d be able to work on a book project with another writer without egos and viewpoints clashing. One of my assignments was to review the cosmetics line I was working for at the time. Paula wanted to see how well my writing style would blend with hers. I took to the project with gusto, turning in my “review” the next day. Paula was impressed, and that led to the next interview, which I’ll detail in another blog. Shortly after I began working for Paula, she told me that she initially thought my review of Aveda was just a minor re-write of what was in her book. She exclaimed I had some nerve if I thought she wouldn’t notice I just gave her own words a slight tweaking. But that wasn’t the case—I wrote the review from scratch (every writer’s fear: a blank computer screen save for the flashing cursor) and hoped for the best. It wasn’t until Paula passed my piece to others in the office that they pointed out I had not simply retooled her review. Rather, my writing style just happened to match hers in a nearly seamless manner. In essence, we had the same “voice” and I officially became Paula’s “mini-me”. So nearly eight years later, with five books, countless newsletters, and pages upon pages of Web content written with Paula, I’m still gainfully employed! Despite Paula’s concerns about sharing writing responsibilities, our working relationship has rarely been strained. Her experience, perspectives, and unfailing sense of humor blend perfectly with mine, and have seen us through many daunting projects. And she isn’t shy about celebrating, which is always a treat!

The View is one of my favorite shows to do, mostly because it has one of the best Green Rooms in the world. For most of the shows I’ve done over the years (and I’ve done a lot) celebrities are kept separate from the other regular guest like me and you never get to see them. The View has everyone sitting in the Green Room together before the show starts and for the entire hour until they are on. I’ve sat next to Alanis Morissette, Debra Messing, Dermot Mulroney, Donald Trump, Angelina Jolie, Andie McDowell, Michael Douglas, and Jerry Orbach and Jesse Martin (actors from Law and Order) to name a few. Now that’s worth a trip to New York any day!

Over the years I’ve been interviewed by each of the women, and of whom did great interviews, especially Barbara Walters, (though Star Jones was much more kind and happy once she started to lose weight and fell in love, before that, well, that’s fodder for another blog). Perhaps one of my favorite View  stories is the time Barbara Walters was interviewing me and at the end of the interview wanted to know if she could take some of the products I had showcased. Of course I said yes, though I’m fairly certain she thought the companies had supplied the products gratis. They hadn’t. These were my own purchases! It was truly adorable, I was flattered that she respected my recommendations and amused that getting them for free was her prerogative. In any event, I look forward to my next appearance on The View. Maybe I’ll get to share a few words with some other fascinating celebrity!

Ever since I can remember I’ve had a problem with lipstick bleeding into the lines around my mouth. I have always hated that flaw. I could never wear the glossy, slick, ultra-creamy lipsticks and lip glosses that make your mouth look sensual and full, that fetching come hither look that everyone else was able to wear. On me they just ran into the vertical lines around the border of my mouth creating a smeared, unattractive mess.

Yes, I tried all the tricks in the book, lip liner, blotting lipstick, using a matte foundation over my lips, keeping moisturizer away from the skin around my mouth, and applying products designed for keeping lipsticks from bleeding, which all helped a little, but little is the operative word, at the end of the day, or even by mid-morning it was all in vain. So for years I’ve had to seek out the most ultra-matte lipsticks possible. I should mention that even this wasn’t fail safe, because eventually, by the end of the day, my matte lipstick would betray me and end up exactly where I didn’t want it! Back then, this problem of bleeding lipstick was rare for a woman my age (I was only 16!) but it is anything but rare for women with sun damage who are over the age of 40 or 50.

Yet somehow this problem doesn’t change a woman’s desire to wear slick, greasy lip glosses and lipsticks that slide and glide in to lines around her mouth. I see this on women all the time and it is even detectable on female actresses of a certain age especially on High Definition TV (of course you would never see this in a fashion magazine because photo-retouching would never allow such a flaw). Yes, glossy lips look great especially compared to the effect of matte lipstick, there is no doubt about that. The sensual glossy appearance is hot, which explains why gloss is one of the best selling items at the cosmetic counters. But using a makeup style that ends up looking like you missed your mouth is as bad as stuffing your bra with Kleenex to look more endowed, only to have the Kleenex spill out on to your cleavage or under your arms is not pretty.

Having said all this, let me tell you about a “gloss” I recently found that surprised even me. While it still bleeds eventually, it does so minimally. I could hardly believe it. I tested it several times and several different colors just to be sure it wasn’t a fluke (sometimes a really pale gloss bleeds but you don’t see it as well). That wasn’t the case, it minimally bled into the lines around my mouth! Hallelujah! The brand is Illumminare and the gloss name All Day Mineral Lip Color. They do have a regular gloss and that one bleeds in a heart beat but the All Day one, it will barely make it pass your lips. It is worth checking out. One more thing, this All Day Mineral Lip Color does not last all day in the least, what a joke, and what is even funnier is that there is nothing about this that would be considered “mineral”, you might as well call my computer mineral by those standards.