A very attractive, young, pert, blonde receptionist who had just heard me do an interview on the radio station where she worked asked me on my way out, “Should a 25-year-old start using anti-aging products?” I thought, what does she want to do, revert to birth? But I knew what she meant and I responded by saying, “the only thing you really need is a great sunscreen, and be sure to never get a tan, and you will do fine; the rest is just skin care, important but not as relevant in any way in comparison to being sun smart.” She sat up and in a 20-something kind of way, said “But I love the sun and I love getting tan, I just don’t want to wrinkle.” I said, “Well then, you might as well buy a lottery ticket, because you probably believe you will win that windfall as well! False hope springs eternal; the reality you live in isn’t how skin works.”

Okay, I was in a mood. I usually just smile and walk away, but it’s getting worse out there, not better and my frustration is at an all-time high. If I believed in conspiracy theories I would say the media is in bed with the cosmetics industry, but alas it isn’t theory, it’s fact. Every time I do a talk show I’m always asked if I’m going to be critical of any of their advertisers, of if I’m going to say anything that might be of legal concern (sort of like Oprah Winfrey saying she didn’t want to eat hamburger). Advertisers are in control of what I say on TV or radio, and even to some extent in print (fashion magazines are a foregone conclusion; they treat me as if I don’t exist or simply don’t know what I’m talking about).

Reporters all over the world ask me what works, but the answer assumes that something must work to get rid of wrinkles. The endless press releases from mainstream cosmetics companies, physician-owned cosmetic companies, and spas and salons of all kinds have created the ultimate, anti-wrinkle products, you just have to find the ones that aren’t lying to you (somehow we know everyone can’t be telling the truth, but the notion that everyone is lying to one degree or another is something most women just won’t believe) and the one in front of you at the moment (especially if you’re feeling vulnerable) or that’s endorsed by a celebrity or has an attractive ad wins every time.

Women seemingly never tire of a product promising it can firm the skin, erase wrinkles, restore youth, fight aging, and on and on. There are literally thousands and thousands of anti-aging products perpetually using the same nebulous yet miraculous claims that often stop just short of lying (or blatantly lie). In some ways it is beyond belief how many products are launched every month, year after year. But because women keep believing the claims from the endless assault of anti-aging/anti-wrinkle products, I guess for me, it’s job security!

People who know me know my idea of a messy house is a coaster left out on the coffee table or a sprinkling of coffee grounds on the counter. I am amazed that other people’s homes often seem so cluttered and disjointed, yet they’re OK with it; how do they find anything, and what about all the dust that accumulates?

Without going into too much self-analysis, I think my need to have everything in its place and clean has to do with the chaotic household I grew up in. With four siblings and a dog, things were rarely quiet and organized. My bedroom was the only space in the house where I had complete control over what went where and how I chose to display it or keep it clean. I remember I would eagerly volunteer to clean our family’s basement or garage when things got too out of hand. I liked the satisfaction that it would look magazine-perfect, at least for a couple of hours. And so it is in the home I live in today.

Everything has its place, and I get uncomfortable if things are out of place for long. Thank goodness I am in a relationship with someone who thinks along the same lines, or one of us would surely be out on the street, angry or intolerant of the other’s seeming disregard for one’s need to be neat or, on the other side, disorderly. But still, I am slightly concerned and amused at the fact that, try as I might, I cannot settle down for the night unless I know things are in order downstairs. I hate waking up to non-fluffed pillows on the sofa, last night’s dishes, or a magazine carelessly sprawled on the floor. Therefore, I have a routine before heading upstairs where I don’t turn off the lights in a room until I am satisfied with how it looks. Somehow my brain just works better when such trivial points are dealt with. Some may find this obsessive, but I like to think of it is ongoing maintenance of a home I am extremely proud of.

Like any possession we cherish, it only makes sense to take good care of it—and that doesn’t mean simply doing a seasonal deep clean and putting the supplies away until the leaves turn again. It’s more than cleaning, it’s a sense of pride and attention to detail that many people seem to lack (I am anecdotally basing this on the number of people who have told my partner and I they have no idea how we keep the house looking so good all the time) but I have in excess.

Realistically, a more balanced approach would be better, but that doesn’t seem to be what works for me. Whether or not you think this is just being neat or crosses over to obsessive, I know that my being this way has helped me immeasurably when Paula and I have worked on books together. Being attentive to details, needing an orderly structure, and not backing down until the job is done have helped us meet many a deadline—and there’s still time to make sure the sofa pillows look good before turning out the light (and shutting down the computer)!

Paula’s Comments:
Bryan and I have been working together for eight years and while we clearly have differences we are often struck my our similarities (the joke between us is that I am a young gay man trapped in a Jewish woman’s body and Bryan is a middle-aged Jewish woman trapped in a gay man’s body J ). Like Bryan I cannot tolerate clutter (my motto is that everything is happier when it has a home and isn’t just left thrown about our left out of place). Yet again, Bryan and I are interchangeable, thank goodness, because I could never do this life on my own! 

I hate watching infomercials or any cosmetic advertising for that matter. I can barely tolerate listening to what the salespeople behind cosmetics counters have to say; it just makes me cringe and my skin crawl. The utter nonsense that is spewed to unsuspecting women is beyond my tolerance level. I just get so frustrated, my blood boils, I start grousing, and that can eventually turn into a rant, and well, that just isn’t pretty.

Such was the case last night when I was watching the latest spate of infomercials from Dr. Murad. He was explaining why his acne line doesn’t include benzoyl peroxide. Is he serious that there is a rationale for ignoring a basic skin care protocol for acne? Did he miss the research published in the Lancet, December 2004, pages 2188-2195, stating that benzoyl peroxide is the most effective treatment for acne, especially in comparison to oral antibiotics (such as tetracycline), topical antibiotics (such as erythromycin), or combination treatments? Another nice benefit over and above a significant reduction in breakouts: the study noted that benzoyl peroxide was also the most cost-effective treatment.

Dr. Murad’s explanation for not using benzoyl peroxide was that it can be drying and irritating. Well, so can watching infomercials for some people, but not for everyone. As a matter of fact, you would be far more able to easily tolerate benzoyl peroxide if the product didn’t contain irritating ingredients such as alcohol or menthol, lime, lemon, or peppermint, or you used gentle cleansers along with it. While Murad is worrying about benzoyl peroxide (at the very least he should offer it as an alternative, something most any reputable doctor would do) he isn’t worried about the irritating ingredients he does use in his acne products including menthol, citrus extracts, alcohol, and lavender.

I won’t even get into the pandering he does with his anti-wrinkle products categorized by hormonal, environmental, and genetic aging. Or maybe I’ll get into that the next time I’m in a blogging mood…

I’m a big fan of HBO’s former sitcom Sex & the City, but not because of the title or the thrill of watching urban women get through daily travails in fabulous shoes. Resisting the show during its original run on cable, I became immersed in the show upon receiving the DVD box set of the entire series. Contrary to what I had imagined the show would be like, it was instead a witty, often hilarious, and, at its core, an interesting perspective on relationships between women and, of course, lots of men.

Aside from the permutations on romance, I’m mentioning this show in particular because it is a great example of how makeup, even everyday, casual makeup, is used to convey character. You may be used to thinking of makeup and character as it pertains to theatrical shows (where would the dramatic tension of Wicked be if Elphaba wasn’t green?) but it’s at work on television too, and often works in subtle ways to convey not only what is going on in a character’s life but what they’re feeling.

Getting back to Sex & the City, you have four distinctive lead characters: Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. Carrie, the narrator and central character, has a typically casual makeup style to complement her casual, tousled curly hair. Interestingly, when it’s time to dress up and Carrie’s hair often becomes sleek and straight, her makeup almost always becomes stronger and more sophisticated—kind of like what a lot of women do in real life. Carrie is also striving to discover her identity and be taken seriously, especially when in emotional turmoil. It is notable that in these scenes, she typically is seen wearing minimal makeup, perhaps so she appears more vulnerable or earnest.

Samantha, the go-getter, man-crazy owner of her own public relations firm has the most trend-driven makeup. She’s the one who often matches her lipstick to her outfit, and maintains a full makeup with equal emphasis on eyes and lips. Even during off work, casual scenes, Samantha has the most makeup on, but it rarely looks overdone. She’s a great example of how attitude can help women carry off any amount of makeup, but even more so when it is properly and proportionately applied! The only time we really see Samantha without her usual makeup is during her brief battle with breast cancer.

Charlotte is the blue-blooded uptight socialite whose wardrobe consists of lots of classic, preppy, Ralph Lauren-style outfits or soft flowing, modest dresses. Her makeup remains consistent throughout the run of the show, tending toward an understated classic look that doesn’t appear effortless but doesn’t seem labor-intensive, either. Hers is the makeup that seems approachable but also a bit too perfect. You get the impression that a slight smudge of lipstick or flaking mascara would ruin her day because it’s a flaw in her otherwise perfect projection of herself.

Miranda is the most professional among the foursome, and works in a law firm. Her clothing began as very masculine, but eventually softened to flattering work attire that was feminine but still conservative and professional. Her makeup remains the simplest of all the characters; you get the sense that she is the type of woman who doesn’t have the time or desire to bother with it, at least not if it takes more than five minutes. Miranda’s bare minimum approach often leaves her looking mousy compared to her friends, but her sarcasm and red-to-strawberry blonde hair compensate; there are lots of ways to make a statement than by relying on makeup or clothing.

I’ll cap this off by stating that, whether we realize it or not, the makeup our favorite television characters wear directly and indirectly influences how we feel about them and how we compare them to ourselves. There’s are many reasons why Sex & the City caught on and resonated with so many women. Image was a big one; the fact that three of the four actresses have promoted appearance-enhancing product, from skin care to makeup to undergarments, testifies to this—and was helped along by character-enhancing makeup.

Anti-wrinkle. There I said it. Well, to be completely direct and clear, what I’m talking about is that I can barely say the word without faltering or hesitating with a roll of my eyes and an exhausted gasp. Now here’s a term that has been used to death for decades with no learning curve. Ironically, the best and worst formulations all make the same claims. How galling and infuriating.

If a product claims it gets rid of wrinkles we want to believe it, and while there are no products that get rid of wrinkles, as I have written extensively over the past 10 years there are lots of products that can make an impressive change in the appearance of wrinkles. In fact, if you keep using them, you’ll see a big difference (think sunscreens, moisturizers or toners loaded with antioxidants, cell-communicating ingredients, and skin identical ingredients, and exfoliants such as AHA and BHA). So here’s the issue: if my products have the same “anti-wrinkle” benefits as the products I rate highly because the formulas are similar (or if I may brag a bit, often better) why can’t I utter the same word (anti-wrinkle) and get the attention of women the same way other companies do? I can’t tell you how many times I’m asked what anti-wrinkle products I sell (or why I don’t sell products making anti-wrinkle claims). Sigh.

For me to use the term anti-wrinkle to describe my products just hits me below the belt and takes my breath away. Is the term misleading, the way the industry uses it suggesting miracles and the fountain of youth? Absolutely. But without question, well formulated products can reduce lines and make skin look younger, there I said it, anti-wrinkle products do exist.

Back to my point, what am I willing to say or rather what am I not willing to say about my products? This struggle is a problem for my company, particularly my Product Development Manager, Kate, who frequently lectures me about this point. She insists that the ingredients we use in our moisturizers meet my standard for improving the appearance of skin, improving skin cell function, enhancing barrier function, restoring substances to skin that it needs to reduce damage, and yes, fighting wrinkles and make skin look better, which includes looking less wrinkled. What to do? For now, that’s a good question, we are talking about this extensively of late and may make some changes. In the meantime, your feedback is welcomed.