R eaders of this blog know that I spend a lot of time in stores with sales people or on the phone talking to Customer Service representatives. And even though I regularly write about my bizarre (and sometimes infuriating) experiences out there in the beauty trenches, I still find myself amazed at the strange things—lack of knowledge, inconsistencies, rudeness—that transpire on a regular basis. In the spirit of the Best of 2009 lists peppering blogs everywhere, here’s my top 5 head-scratching moments of the year:

5. Elizabeth Arden:
When I contacted Elizabeth Arden directly to find out if their 2-in-1 Cleanser had been discontinued, they told me that it had been renamed “3-in1 Daily Cleanser Exfoliator.” I asked them if they could tell me how the formula had changed, and they said it hadn’t. “No change at all?” I asked. “None,” they confirmed. Now, I’ve double checked the math, and still don’t understand how a product can go from being 2-in-1 to 3-in-1 with out adding anything else to it! I suppose the folks at Arden simply decided they’d sell more of this cleanser if they added another benefit to the name, even though it was there all along.

4. A Downtown Seattle Luxury Spa:
While making a sunscreen purchase in a spa, I asked about their return policy, not that I intended on returning anything, but out of professional curiosity. The girl at the counter said “It shouldn’t be a problem as long as you have your receipt.” Fair enough. However, after I’d made my purchase, a manager came over and proceeded to explain that there are no returns allowed whatsoever, for any reason. When I told her that the cashier, who was still in front of us, said that it wouldn’t be a problem, the manager balked at me, saying, “Oh, come on, we aren’t Nordstrom!” The salesperson didn’t say a word. I have news for that manager, not only aren’t they Nordstrom, they are an embarrassment from start to finish.

3. Ulta:
Researching some Lorac products, I asked the salesperson if she could tell me which active sunscreens Lorac uses their lipstick, since I couldn’t find it on the packaging and was concerned about broad spectrum protection. She said she didn’t have that information, but assured me that if I didn’t like the sunscreen protection, I could return it. How does that make any sense? Whether or not a lipstick includes sufficient UVA protection isn’t something that’s determined by preference! And if this salesperson had been better trained, she might have known that.

2. SK-II:
With full page ads in multiple high-distribution fashion magazines, I was eager to get a hold of SK-II’s new Skin Signature Cream, which the ads claim can be purchased at Saks, Bloomingdales and on their own website. After contacting these stores to no avail, I did a live chat with a representative at SK-II.com only to learn that they have no idea when Skin Signature Cream will be on the market. When I remarked to the Customer Service rep “I must say, it’s weird to run ads for a product that’s not available anywhere,” the rep replied, “I know!” Her candor was refreshing, but those ads continue to run, with no product launch date in site. So weird and so expensive!

1. Olay:
An attentive reader alerted us to the fact that Olay had reformulated and repackaged some products in their Regenerist line. Sure enough, I looked it up on their website and the formulas had changed. So, after purchasing the products and confirming that the new ingredients were indeed on the labels, I called Olay’s Customer Service to get more info, yet they denied that there had been any formulary change to the Regenerist line, claiming that those products hadn’t changed since 2006. When I directed the CS rep to look at her own website, she saw the different ingredient lists and said, “I have no explanation for that.” I really felt bad for the awkward spot she was in, but given Olay is owned by Procter & Gamble, a giant in the consumer products industry, there really is no excuse for them to leave their Customer Service reps in the dark about their products.

Who knows what double-talk and outright misinformation I’ll hear in 2010, but rest assured the best of them will make their way to this blog!