Choosing gifts for the important people in your life is difficult enough as is, but when you add makeup, skin-care, and hairstyling products to the list and you’re setting yourself up for mission impossible. The way cosmetics counters are set up complicates matters even more, given the often-overwhelming number and variety of products and the consultants, who will say anything to get you to buy from their line. So, how do you know which products really work and also look and feel good? The Cosmetics Cop Team is here to help!

Out of the thousands of products we use and review each year, these standout favorites are bound to be a hit, whether you’re treating a loved one or yourself. Best of all, you don’t even have to leave your couch to find them!

Paula’s Perfect Presents:

• Paula’s Choice 2% BHA Liquid ($18.95). I use it every evening and wake up with the smoothest skin imaginable. This never fails to amaze me, and I’ve been using it for years.
• Paula’s Choice Pure Mineral Sunscreen SPF 15 ($15.95). I use this every day on my hands and chest. The result: no brown spots … and it holds up beautifully, even after washing my hands.
• Paula’s Choice Moisture Boost Hydrating Treatment Cream ($18.95). This is the perfect moisturizer for my eye area!

Nathan’s Not on the Naughty List Products:

• Paula’s Choice RESIST Advanced Replenishing Toner Skin Remodeling Complex ($18.95). Innovation was the word for 2010 at Paula’s Choice, and instead of raving once more about our 2% BHA Liquid, I cannot deny (resist?) that the unique and complex formula in this newest addition to the RESIST collection is my new favorite body moisturizer! I have never been a fan of lotions for the body, so the Skin Recovery Toner was the perfect substitute … until now! With incredible benefits, the unparalleled array of antioxidants and cell-communicating ingredients in the RESIST Advanced Replenishing Toner soothed my winter dry skin, without the “lotion feel.” (Bonus: It takes only about 15 seconds to apply!)
• Clarisonic Classic Sonic Skin Cleansing System ($195). This was a gift from a friend—and it has been a fantastic alternative to the washcloth! I’ve dealt with ingrown hairs from shaving (endlessly, it seems), but after a few weeks of daily use, the Clarisonic, along with my  CLEAR Normalizing Cleanser, has made for the perfect shave and is a splurge-worthy gift!

Desiree’s Dream Gifts:

• Paula’s Choice RESIST Weekly Resurfacing Treatment with 10% Alpha Hydroxy Acid ($26.95). Even though I already use a BHA exfoliant that I love, I decided to give the Weekly Resurfacing Treatment a try after hearing all the rave reviews from customers. To my delight, I really did wake up with glowing, radiant skin the next morning. After using Paula’s Choice products for over a year now, I didn’t think my skin could get any better, but with the help of this product, it did!
• Too Faced Naked Eye Kit ($35). I fell in love with this eyeshadow palette the instant I laid eyes on it. There are nine gorgeous shades, including gray, beige, black, brown, and light pink, in either soft matte or shimmer finishes. It’s rare to find an eyeshadow set in which all the colors are beautiful and usable, but this kit nails it, offering endless combinations for subtle or sexy eyes!

Daynah’s Decadent Delights:

• Paula’s Choice Beautiful Body Butter ($16.95). This decadent hydrating cream is a staple in my life (especially in winter), and it makes an excellent gift because it’s so versatile and luxurious! You can use it on dry elbows, heels, or all over your hands. (I keep some right at my desk!) The texture is rich, but it absorbs so well you’re never left feeling greasy. The packaging is unisex, and an added bonus is the delicious chocolaty cocoa butter scent—and zero calories!
• Chanel Rouge Coco Hydrating Creme Lip Colour ($30). Very few shoppers are going to drop $30 on a lipstick, but that’s the joy of gift-giving, getting to spoil your loved ones (or yourself, we won’t tell!). I consider this lipstick a worthy splurge for any lady on my list—it’s absolutely divine! I can’t get enough of its creamy texture, incredible stain (which means it has staying power), and the gorgeous, sleek Chanel packaging. Lipstick may seem tricky for gifting, but the now-famous Mademoiselle shade is amazingly universally flattering (a blend of mauve, pink, and peach), and it will work on most fair to medium skin tones. In fact, it’s such a hit that Chanel counters all over the country sold out of the shade the first day it was on the market!

Bryan’s Buzz-Worthy Favorites:

• Paula’s Choice Skin Balancing Moisture Gel ($18.95). It’s not an easy task picking my favorite Paula’s Choice product, but this one is my go-to. A “never-fail” option for handling minor dryness, it keeps my skin smooth (never oily,) especially after shaving. I use it every day, and during the winter months, I follow with one of our more emollient moisturizers for my eye area, which is drier than the rest of my face.
• Bumble and bumble Sumowax ($25). I discovered this styling wax back when Paula and I were working on the last edition of “Don’t Go Shopping for Hair-Care Products Without Me,” in 2004. Needing a wax for the way my hair was cut at the time, I figured, “Why not?” Almost seven years later, I am never without this product. It’s expensive, yes, but a little goes a long way; I can make a jar last almost a year. And it works so well for finishing my hairstyle that the expense is worth it. I also love Bumble’s Styling Spray; it works great for normal to fine hair that needs light hold and body without stickiness.

Happy holiday shopping, and don’t forget to check out Beautypedia.com for more product recommendations from The Cosmetics Cop Team!

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I had the pleasure of taking my 9-year-old daughter to see Tangled, Disney’s newest animated fairy tale. Generally speaking, I’m a tough sell on animated films, and even more so if they’re aimed at kids, but I found this one incredibly delightful. I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed it.

What also surprised me was the anti-aging theme, which ended up being the premise for the film’s entire plot. In this variation on the famous Brothers Grimm fairy tale, the old witch who steals Rapunzel from her crib does so not because she wants a daughter, but because Rapunzel’s long enchanted hair acts as an instant beauty treatment! Of course, as I watched Rapunzel’s hair do its magic on the screen, I couldn’t help but think of all the miracle ingredients and outrageous claims The Cosmetics Cop Team encounters daily. The witch’s wrinkles disappeared instantly, not a far cry from the promises made for numerous skin-care products that promise the same kind of impossible, miraculous anti-aging transformation.

The oddest thing to me? I’m not sure why this beauty aspect of the film surprised me, but it did. After all, many fairy tales use the quest for endless youth as the villain’s motivation. There are lots of examples:

• The evil stepmother in Snow White, whose vanity consumes her to murderous ends.
• Sleeping Beauty’s Aurora contends with the jealous and over-the-hill Maleficent.
• And then there’s Cinderella, in which the less-attractive stepsisters and stepmother scheme to enslave the beautiful girl.

More recently, Neil Gaiman’s novella-turned-film Stardust featured the wicked Lamia (played by Michelle Pfeiffer), who needed to eat the heart of a fallen star, Yvaine (Claire Danes), to restore her youth and beauty. (I’m guessing that “Heart of a Fallen Star” is one miracle ingredient The Cosmetics Cop Team is not likely to stumble across in anti-aging products! But who knows? After all, this is the cosmetics industry!)

It’s always bothered me that the women in fairy tales either are young and beautiful or are conniving (and even trying to kill!) to become young and beautiful. Considering that Stardust and Tangled are recent releases, the quest for eternal youth is a narrative trend that doesn’t seem to be changing.

I hope that other parents use these stories like I did, as an opportunity to start a conversation about real beauty with their kids, because, fairy tale or not, cinema has a long history of portraying the villain as less attractive than the hero. As we all know, in reality, lots of villains are very good looking (charming, even), and many heroes don’t meet the traditional standards of beauty. In a world teeming with false advertising of all kinds, you should remind your children that outside appearance is not necessarily a direct reflection of what’s on the inside—even if you’re a Disney princess.

The headline for this blog isn’t mine; I borrowed it from the October issue of Women’s Health magazine. The crux of the article was examining whether or not women over age 40 can be slim and still maintain a youthful face. Can women be skinny (well, preferably maintain a healthy weight without looking emaciated) and avoid telltale signs of aging? The answer may surprise you!

According to dermatologist Dr. Leslie Baumann (and Paula, who has been saying this for years), the “old face young body contradiction” is a problem for looking younger.  Women are eating healthier and exercising more, which of course leads to a loss of body fat. But when a woman over 40 has low body fat she starts seeing loss of facial volume. Why? Because with less facial fat, facial skin has less support and the wrinkles become more apparent. It’s one of those cruel ironies of getting older—women (and men, too) lose the ability to keep the fat where it does us the most good (in our face) and have trouble losing fat where it bothers us the most (our hips, thighs, and rear end).

You’ll recognize the signs of fat (volume) loss as it happens: eyes begin to look sunken and the skin beneath them forms pooches that don’t go away, smile lines become like vertical signposts, and cheeks lose their cherubic fullness. Couple these fat-related changes with sun damage, menopause, gravity, and other factors and you have the perfect storm for giving skin a deflated, sagging look.

Even more telling is when you compare the faces of women between the ages of 40 and 50 who are overweight to those who aren’t. Chubby women have younger-looking faces (meaning less wrinkles and sagging) than women who are at normal or underweight. It’s true!

Here are the most intriguing facts I learned from the article:

• Fat is incredibly important for the face, at least if you want to look younger.
• The fat beneath the skin (known as subcutaneous fat) was once thought to consist as one mass. New research has shown that the face actually has 21 “fat compartments”—and each of them ages at a different pace!
• How a person’s face ages is in large part related to how these fat compartments change over time—and women who stay too thin can have fat compartments that “sag like day-old party balloons,” even if the rest of their body is in top shape.

What’s the solution? Well, how do you feel about eating more food?

• If you want to maintain a healthy amount of facial fat to keep your face looking younger, longer, then you must maintain a 15% level of body fat—that’s if you have a naturally fuller or round face.
• Women with narrow, angular faces need—get this—at least 20–25% body fat to keep a youthful face after age 40.
• Still yo-yo dieting? Do whatever it takes to stop, because large increases in weight loss followed by weight gain and more loss only exacerbates what can happen to our facial fat as we age.
• Women with a history of yo-yo dieting can begin to see signs of facial sagging in their early 30s!

What it comes down to is this: if you’re willing to carry an extra ten pounds of body weight (meaning you’ll be slightly overweight) your face will look younger and you won’t look unhealthy. And, it doesn’t mean you have to gain weight via junk food. Quite the contrary: Eating a healthy diet that’s rich in antioxidants and essential fatty acids (think fish oil and you’re already on your way to looking younger) plays a pivotal role in how your skin ages. That doesn’t sound like such a bad trade-off to me—but what do you think? Would you rather be perceived as thin or as being younger than your actual age? And if you choose staying thin, are you willing to go for dermal fillers when your face begins showing telltale signs of fat loss?

Many people struggle with and really hate having large pores. So do we! There are some facts about pore size you need to know so you can see a noticeable difference—and you also need to know what’s not possible.

For the most part pore size is genetically determined, and when that’s the case, there isn’t much you can do to change that condition. But what about when pores become larger from factors not dependent on genetics? Now THAT’s where the right skin-care products can change things for the better.

Here’s what can happen to make pores larger: When a pore of any size has its follicle lining filled with excess dirt, excess oil (it’s actually wax inside the pore but “oily” on the surface), and dead skin cells, the pore swells and, you guessed it, looks more apparent. Even worse is the wax on the surface of the pore can oxidize, which causes it to turn black and, voila, you get a blackhead. These are the main reasons why women with oily skin often complain of having large pores (the excess oil is causing their pores to enlarge beyond their genetically determined size).

The solution? If your pores have become enlarged due to trapped debris and excess oil production, you need to take steps to remove the debris and restore a normal flow of oil from the pore lining on to the surface. A well formulated BHA product (active ingredient: salicylic acid) is a brilliant way to do that. The salicylic acid penetrates the pore lining, dislodging what’s trapped inside and causing your pores to enlarge. Once the trapped contents are free and with ongoing use of a BHA product to keep obstructions to a minimum, your pores will go back to their regular size. All together now: Woo hoo!

What else can you do? Well, it may surprise you to learn that certain products with cell-communicating ingredients (think retinol and niacinamide) can also help to reduce the appearance of enlarged pores. No, they won’t make your natural pore size shrink to that of a baby’s, but cell-communicating ingredients can “talk” to other cells and convince them to maintain a normal pore lining. This can also help you see a reduction in pore size!

Many Paula’s Choice customers have commented that our Skin Balancing Toner is a helpful addition to their skin-care routine due to its ability to help minimize the appearance of pores. When used with a well formulated BHA exfoliant and water-soluble cleanser as part of a comprehensive skin-care routine, you don’t have to live with enlarged pores, and that’s great news! Of course there are other products we recommend on Beautypedia.com but the customer reviews for this toner are too good to not share!

For stubborn clogged pores and blackheads it can help to physically remove the plug. You can do this yourself if you’re careful and don’t overdo it or you can have an esthetician do this for you. Paula wrote about how to do this here.

Lastly, do keep in mind that pore size and how your pores are perceived by others is never as horrible as you may think. First, other than your esthetician, it’s doubtful anyone is examining your pores with the same intensity that you are (well, except for Paula who uses a 10X magnifying mirror but up close and in person you’d never think that Paula has large pores).

Second, everyone has pores and without a great skin-care routine, everyone will experience some degree of pore clogging. Even those with naturally small pores and dry skin may find their skin has small, white bumps due to a buildup of dead skin cells in the pore lining. For someone with dry skin and clogged pores, once again a well formulated BHA product (preferably in a lotion base) is a brilliant option.

Now that you know the truth about pore size, you can take steps to make sure your pores stay clean and free of the debris that causes them to become enlarged. Go ahead—let the truth set your clogged pores free!

How do you define environmental sustainability? Is it just a matter of “don’t do bad stuff, do more good stuff?” How is this different from “being green?” It seems simpler to think of sustainability as cutting back on waste and energy consumption while seeking products that have a smaller impact on the planet. Whether it is convenient to accept or not, everything we do has an impact on the Earth. For Paula’s Choice, accepting accountability for our ecological footprint is a core ethic.

At Paula’s Choice, we believe that environmental sustainability requires a greater awareness of the impact we have from daily business, and how we can ensure we’re doing business with the least harm. As we’ve grown globally, so has our concept of what it means to be sustainable—ecologically, economically, and socially. Did you know that Paula’s Choice is one of the few cosmetics companies that have had a policy of sustainability from the very beginning? It’s true!  Our packaging and printing materials have always utilized sustainable methods, and we source the ingredients used to formulate our products responsibly. For the ingredients used to develop the skin-care products that you’ve come to know and love, Paula looks for the sustainable alternative—not the least expensive option.

As a new employee of Paula’s Choice, I’ve observed extraordinary steps made towards environmental responsibility. Many cosmetic companies are only now showing interest in sustainability, either in response to controversy (with the vague promise of implementing new, “greener” policies within the decade), or with superficial efforts to appease questioning consumers. Paula’s Choice has never felt it necessary to choose between having a conscience and turning a profit. In our ongoing efforts to develop state-of-the-art skin care, we routinely seek out the most sustainable methods of doing so.

Recently, a Facebook fan asked the source of our palm oil in our RESIST Super Antioxidant Concentrate Serum. She mentioned that palm oil production has its destructive sources, some of which have had devastating effects on rainforests along with human and animal habitats.  Naturally, she was concerned about our use of this ingredient, and there was good news to report: We’re one of the few cosmetics companies in the world to be able to state that from our first use of palm oil, Paula and her team chose the sustainable premium.

The palm oil used in Paula’s Choice products originates from a Roundtable on Sustainable Palm Oil Certified (RSPO) farm—Malaysia-based Carotech. The process to achieve RSPO certification has become much more aggressive than when it first became an option in 2002. Although sustainable palm production may not be widely accepted, major environmental organizations strongly believe that the transparency and independent process for certification is an important step towards maintaining the sustainability of palm oil.

This was a single instance of a Paula’s Choice customer wanting more information about why we make the choices we do, and assurance that our products were not only ethically produced and packaged, but had sustainable origins. In our efforts to bring you the best skin care that advanced science can offer, we will never forget the impact we have on the environment. While the road to sustainability is never a perfect one, Paula’s Choice has worked hard to make sure our customers never have to make the choice between great skin and ethical skin-care products.

We’d love to hear from you—how do you define sustainability—and are you living up to your own standards?

Those of you who still have the freedom to make plans on Sunday nights might not know that there’s a full-blown beauty/gender debate unfolding on the fourth season of AMC’s stellar show Mad Men. The television series is set in the ‘60s and centers on the forward-thinking Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce advertising agency. Recently, they landed a big account with Pond’s Cold Cream. While brainstorming for the Pond’s campaign, the marketing team was at a stalemate: Freddy, the sexist but harmless fuddy-duddy, says that if they market Pond’s as a means for women to land a husband, it’ll sell. Peggy, the young proto-feminist copywriter, insists that focusing on Pond’s as part of a woman’s beauty ritual will speak to women who wish to indulge themselves in front of the mirror.

Of course, it’s clear that Peggy has her finger on the pulse of the women’s movement to come, but that doesn’t mean that Freddy’s take on what motivates women to purchase beauty-related products is all that archaic, even by today’s standards. Believe me, I would know. As someone whose job description means being uniquely steeped in beauty product marketing with a critical eye, I can assure you that while the goal may not be to get married, it’s definitely still important to get noticed by men. Don’t believe me? How many beauty products—makeup, skin care, hair care, fragrance—are described as flirty? Sexy? Seductive? A lot. If sex sells anyplace, it’s with beauty products, which are almost exclusively marketed to . . . straight women.

This Pond’s debate on Mad Men got me thinking about what marketing angle sparks my own interest in a beauty product. With everything that Paula has taught me about the beauty industry and as a bona-fide member of The Cosmetics Cop Team, that’s not an easy question to answer. While I can’t say that I shop Dove exclusively, their Campaign for Real Beauty ads have definitely resonated with me. And Dove’s short films like this one that critiques the power that advertising has on women from an early age is compelling. I’m well aware that there’s an inherent hypocrisy to Dove’s marketing angle (particularly the image retouching), but the campaign’s aim seemed true enough to make a lasting impression on me.

What do you think? Are beauty products still aimed at helping a woman find a man or is it about female empowerment? And, for better or worse, which products’ ad campaigns speak to you?

I have always been a huge sucker for reality makeover shows, from TLC’s What Not to Wear and 10 Years Younger to the CW’s latest attempt at a makeover show, Plain Jane. I admit these shows can be cheesy at times, but there’s something fascinating and inspiring about both the physical transformation and the newfound confidence the participants obtain—it’s even brought me to tears on more than one occasion.

So, I got into a little debate with someone the other day who thought it was shallow of me to enjoy these types of shows. Her point was that shows focused solely on how to improve your looks send the wrong message: conform to society’s standard of beauty so that you can find love, a better job, a better life.

Let me start out by clarifying that I absolutely agree that what’s on the inside is what matters most. No amount of makeup, plastic surgery or designer clothes can make up for an “ugly,” mean-spirited personality, and beauty has never made anyone a better person.

But I do think there is something rewarding about taking care of yourself and putting your best face forward. This is clearly demonstrated in makeover shows when you see the participant’s eyes light up and their confidence soar after their transformation is complete. How you achieve that is up to you—whether it means taking care of your skin, wearing makeup, exercising, or anything else that makes you feel good about yourself. The point is: It’s ok to care about YOU.

I know there are plenty of you out there who are thinking, “I don’t need that stuff to feel better about myself.” You know what, good for you! However, if reality shows prove anything, it’s that there are people who, for whatever reason, aren’t giving themselves what they need. If that’s you, I urge you to get out of your beauty rut and take control of how you feel about yourself.

Here are a few tips to jump start your process:

• Don’t think you have time for good skin care? Here’s a guide to beautiful skin in five minutes!
• Have no clue where to start with makeup? Take a trip to your local department store and have several of the makeup artists there show you some techniques and help you pick out flattering colors.
• Are you worried about spending money on beauty products? Visit www.beautypedia.com where you can find cosmetic products in all price categories. Some of the top rated products are under $5!

The rest is up to you! Whether you agree or disagree with my thoughts on makeovers and the shows that focus on them, one thing is undeniable: Taking care of your overall wellbeing is important and sometimes that means making your exterior beauty a priority. Now, let’s hear what you have to say…

Many of you have asked The Cosmetics Cop Team about our take on The Story of Cosmetics video sponsored by the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics. It is clear the information in the video is inaccurate, unsupported, and is merely a vehicle to scare consumers—for some unknown reason—about the cosmetics they use. However, we strongly recommend watching this video from YouTube’s HowTheWorldWorks channel. It is well thought-out with independent research, so you can see for yourself what the real facts are instead of being misled by stick drawings and undocumented assertions as made by The Story of Cosmetics.

Because The Story of Cosmetics video is so shockingly biased, what you don’t know is that the assertions of the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics are routinely discredited by the independent scientific community. No one is dying or getting sick from using cosmetics and the environment is not falling apart. Rather, we now have safer and more effective skin care, better makeup, impressive shampoos and styling products, and more remarkable hair dyes than ever before. There is not a shred of evidence proving otherwise.

Bottom line: The information in the video sponsored by the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is either misleading or 100% false. Much of what’s stated is not based on solid science, and only loosely (and we mean really loosely) based on facts. The truth is that there are some cosmetic ingredients to be concerned about; however, those ingredients are prohibited by regulatory groups worldwide, or the studies concerning their risks don’t relate to how they are used in cosmetic products.

The real story behind The Story of Cosmetics video is to tell you about The Safe Cosmetics Act of 2010. This Act seeks to put much tighter restrictions on what can and cannot be used in cosmetics. The problem? They are using information that in comparison would make sugar and salt in food illegal. The explanation they use that Europe has taken a lead in this arena is also ludicrous. My products are sold easily in Europe, but the proposal here in the U.S. would put my products in question and, regardless of brand, would leave consumers without many of the tried-and-true products essential for keeping skin issues like acne in check, not to mention helping your skin look younger, longer.

The topic of my July 29 Online Radio Show (you can link to the archived version here) was how to achieve a face-lift (or a close proximity) without surgery. Our guest was Dr. Brandith Irwin, a board-certified cosmetic dermatologist who is author of The Surgery-Free Makeover.

I know all of you would like The Cosmetics Cop Team to say we found some miracle product with some miracle ingredients from some remote part of the world that can provide the results you can get from cosmetic corrective procedures and surgery, but they DON’T exist. Hundreds of companies tell you otherwise, but they are absolutely lying.

We started out the show having a lot of fun reviewing some of the ridiculous products from Bremenn Labs that are the epitome of what kind of insanity lurks behind almost every infomercial, department store, drugstore, salon, spa, or home shopping cosmetic brand. Bremenn Labs actually sells products called Tummy Tuck in a Box, Boob Job in a Box, Butt Lift in a Box, and Upper Eyelid Lifter. I didn’t know whether to laugh, throw up, or cry. Admittedly, it’s hard to laugh when you know women are wasting their money on this kind of stuff every day.

After explaining why Boob Job in a Box was not even close to the real thing, we talked to Dr. Brandith Irwin. She went over details of what can really be done with cosmetic corrective procedures such as Botox, Thermage, Fraxel, dermal fillers (such as Sculptra, Radiesse, Restylane, or Artefill), and laser and light therapies. I know, I know, they’re pricey, but with all the money you’ll save by not buying useless “Works like [insert cosmetic corrective procedure here] …” skin-care products or pills or drinks claiming to get rid of your wrinkles, sagging skin, and furrowed brow, you’ll be able to afford the things that really work.

Dr. Irwin also touched on expectations and the results you can achieve with different procedures. Botox and dermal injections produce the fastest and most impressive results. Facial peels are also impressive, but that is completely dependent on the strength of the peel and the know-how of the person applying it. Machines such as laser, IPL, or Thermage are less impressive in the short term but are extremely effective when a series of treatments are done.

It is also important to keep in mind that if you have advanced sun damage and sagging that a non-invasive procedure won’t make you look like you just had a face-lift. That’s why it’s important to consider these treatments before you start looking older. Ongoing, preventive maintenance goes a long way to delaying the decision to actually have a cut-and-paste surgical procedure.

I often hear women say to their female friends, “You don’t need anything like a face-lift or lasers—you look fine!” First of all, none of us just want to look “fine.” Second, are women supposed to wait until their friends say, “Wow, your skin is looking like a bad piece of leather and hanging down like a worn pair of drapes!”? The idea is to treat your skin to prevent sagging and wrinkles, not wait until you’re looking in the mirror and wondering who that old lady is staring back at you.

As with every radio show, we took questions from several women and gave away an assortment of Paula’s Choice products. The combination of brilliant skin care along with carefully selected cosmetic dermatologic treatments is the smartest way you can truly look younger, longer. And isn’t that what most of us want? I know it’s what I want and why I see Dr. Irwin three or four times a year for my touch-ups (which include Botox, Fraxel, and fillers). I know some day I will bite the bullet and have full-on cosmetic surgery, but for now, if I do say so myself, I think I look pretty damn good!

Our Cosmetics Cop Team analyzes hundreds of ridiculous, implausible, and downright false claims cosmetic companies make about their products every day. Even when beauty products really do turn out to be excellent formulations, the marketing mumbo jumbo used to describe them is akin to a Looney Tunes cartoon about skin care more than anything else. We wanted to share with you our top five product claims that just had us rolling our eyes last month.

 1. Avon Anew Clinical Body Contouring Treatment ($25 for 5 oz)
Claims: “Tightens, smoothes and lifts in all the right places. Lifts sagging and reduces crepiness. Nearly 100% of women showed tighter skin on abs, hips and thighs, plus more lifted buttocks. Up to 93% showed firmer skin. Up to 50% more lifted buttocks.* Up to 50% tighter skin. Instantly skin feels firmer and more toned. In just 2 weeks 82% of women saw a more contoured-looking body. Over time reduces the look of excess skin on abs, hips, thighs and buttocks; works like an invisible body shaper to minimize unwanted curves.”

The first thing we asked is how does this product know what needs lifting and what doesn’t, given you’re applying it all over? Also, when would it know when to stop lifting? Who needs their thighs up around their waist? 100% of women had tighter skin, but only 93% had firmer skin? And up to 50% tighter skin? First, what’s the difference between firmer and tighter, and second, who was doing the counting because these are the oddest totals ever? And what does 100% of women mean? If there were two women who worked for Avon that would be 100%? It’s just all utter nonsense. There isn’t one ingredient in this product that is going to change the shape of your body. Perhaps this product should be called Clinical Downsizing of Your Wallet for $25!

2. ReVive Serum Presse ($295 for 1 oz)
Claims: “Instant gratification in a bottle…the first RéVive serum to give skin the look of instant lift and radiance. Noticeably lifts and firms the skin immediately with an advanced polysaccharide tensor while brightening soft-focus optics give skin an instant glow.”

Notice the words “the look of” before “instant lift.” That’s a clever way of stating what consumers with sagging skin want to hear, but in truth it isn’t saying your skin will be lifted at all. Quite the contrary, all you’re getting for $295 for 1 ounce is “the look of lifted skin” but that isn’t remotely the same as actually lifting sagging skin back into place. And even if it could do that, what happens to the excess skin? Does it shrink? Of course not, and there isn’t one ingredient in here that will give you the results you are hoping for. As for the “soft-focus optics” this is supposed to contain, it is a sham way to describe the shiny particles this product contains, the same shiny particles a $10 blush uses.

3. Clarins Fix’ Make-Up ($25.50 for 1 oz)
Claims: “A refreshing mist that sets make-up and prolongs its hold, while providing a feeling of instant freshness and well-being. Also provides continuous hydration and comfort.”

We couldn’t believe our eyes when we read this claim! There is nothing about this that translates to a real-life experience. It is designed as a spray-on mist to set your makeup, but this product does little more than make skin feel damp and slightly sticky. It contains nothing that enhances makeup wear; in fact, overdoing this can lead to makeup meltdown or streaking. Plus the fragrance from both synthetic and plant extracts are over the top and made us gag. Whoever thought this overpriced, gimmicky product was a good idea needs to rethink their career!

4. Nu Skin AgeLoc Gentle Cleanse & Tone ($53 for 2 oz)
Claims: “Gently purifies and primes skin morning and night. This sophisticated foaming cleanser combines cleansing and toning into a single step, while providing the skin with advanced anti-aging ingredients. This luxurious formula delivers your first infusion of ageLOC and leaves your skin feeling soft and refreshed.”

We had to double-check the price for this cleanser to make sure we weren’t seeing things, as this just may be the most expensive cleanser in the cosmetic world that ends up being nothing more than an exceptionally standard, detergent-based water soluble cleanser, and we mean really standard. Even if it did contain anti-aging ingredients, in a cleanser it would just be rinsed down the drain. Yes this works to clean skin and remove makeup, but the price is sheer lunacy. Similar cleansers are available from Olay, Neutrogena, Clean & Clear, and Paula’s Choice for a fraction of the cost (and in sizes that won’t be depleted in two or three weeks).

5. Serious Skin Care Eyetality Total Eye Care ($36.50 for 0.5 oz)
Claims: “Eyetality takes a leap into the future of skin care and brings you our first all encompassing eye beauty treatment that addresses each and every specific need of the complete eye area.”

Talk about outrageous claims—how can any one product take care of each and every specific need of any area, especially considering this product doesn’t contain sunscreen! What about that need, given the wrinkles around the eye are almost all about sun damage, shouldn’t a “Total Eye Care” include an effective SPF? Even more implausible is the fact that there are no skin-care answers for puffiness, droopy lids, dark circles, or pouching around the eye. This is just yet another addition to the thousands of eye creams on the market making the same claims they can’t live up to.  

We just had to throw in one more:

6. Glamoxy Snake Serum ($150 for .85 oz)
Claims: “This revolutionary oxygenated, viper-inspired serum contains syn-ake; a neuro peptide that mimics the effects of the Temple Viper’s potent venom to instantly lift the face, freeze muscles and plump fine lines and wrinkles.”

We had to hiss at every claim this product makes. It is nothing more than a pathetic attempt to prove Glamoxy can mimic the affect of Botox. The entire notion is laughable and completely bogus. Snake venom doesn’t work like Botox in any shape or form. First, given you are applying it with your hands, if Glamoxy actually worked, wouldn’t the muscles in your hand be frozen as well? You would also likely be applying it to areas of your face you don’t want to freeze. The star ingredients listed on this product’s website with names such as Proturon and Ronasphere are trade names for sodium hyaluronate and silica, which are about as special as white bread! These are standard ingredients and completely without any Botox-like properties for skin.

Another overblown ingredient is listed as Fiflow BTX which is supposed to carry oxygen to the skin. The actual ingredients for this are perfluorohexane, perfluoroperhydrophenanthrene, perfluorodecalin, and perfluorodimethylcyclohexane, which obviously are not as impressive sounding as Fiblow BTX. These substances are fluorocarbons that do indeed bring oxygen to lungs in some medical situations, but the effect on skin, if any, is not known. After all, oxygen causes free-radical damage. Not to mention the EPA is considering taking these off the market. All in all, this product gives an entirely new meaning to the term “snake oil.”

Now let’s hear some of your favorites…