Last week, a woman I know told me that she was really worried about getting her annual mammogram. I asked if she had any risk factors such as family history. She said, “No, but with so many women getting diagnosed these days, she said, I guess my risk factor is being a woman.”

Even though more women die of heart disease, it is breast cancer we seek out. Breast cancer is the only cancer we’re supposed to look for with dedicated regularity. We’re supposed to have a built in search and destroy protocol for our breasts. Every month we’re supposed to examine our breasts. Hey! It’s time to look for cancer. Let’s look for a lump. Who needs that in their lives? After all, our breasts are meant to be about life. But they’re now also about fear. And many of us live with the fear no matter what side of breast cancer we’re on.

But early detection, which we all know, is the key to survival, means looking for cancer. Now that’s scary but it’s also hopeful, because we can do something about it. All of us diagnose, live with the threat of recurrence or metastases, even if we have an excellent prognosis. An excellent prognosis is still a prognosis, which isn’t a good thing. We don’t know if we’re in the 5% or 95%; the 80% or 20%. Living with odds is so bizarre. And ultimately, irrelevant for any single person, because, as one woman said to me, for any individual it’s binary: you get cancer again or you don’t, my personal odds are 50/50. So, we remain vigilant for signs and symptoms.

And there will be things that trigger your fears for the rest of your life. It’s normal. You feel good, you feel great, you’re three years past treatment, you feel healthy and cured. Then you get a backache that you can’t explain and the terror hits like a tornado. Surviving breast cancer leaves you with a fear that the ordinary can become a life threat. We find again a resting place in hope until the next time and then go on with our lives.

Recently, I was home on a free afternoon. I could either work on pulling weeds first, or do laundry and watch T.V. I decided to do the latter because who really gets up in the morning and say ” Oh boy! I get to pull weeds today!” While channel surfing I landed on one of the T.V shopping channels that had a popular skin care/cosmetic line doing a product demonstration. The program was on for about a half an hour and it said that it had awesome breakthroughs for aging skin. I have to admit that I was very skeptical about this, but like people who stare on the freeway at the remaining wreckage of a car accident I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. The person went on to say that people that are 30 needed to start the aging skin routine so that they can ward off wrinkles/discoloration/sagging for as long as possible. Good Grief! I am 32! Does this mean that I have lost out on two whole years of possible anti-aging? Will I look 2 years older than someone who uses it right on their 30th birthday? And I thought all I had to do was use sunscreen, avoid baking in the sun(which is not hard in Seattle) and use antioxidants along with the other things Paula recommends (which I know is all I really need but I was getting sucked into this presentation).

The person who represented this line continued to stress the importance of using each product in the routine and she said that she used them on a daily basis. I can understand why so many people are so hooked on this and proceed to purchase the kits that are on this program. The representative of this company had flawless beautiful skin, looked like a supermodel and talked about how all of her clients/friends in Hollywood swear by these products when they can afford much much more. They think ” If I use her products, I will have skin that looks like hers, marry a rich man, move to a nice neighborhood, and have beautiful friends that take my skincare/makeup advice” (well, maybe I exaggerated a bit.)I kept count of all of the products that she said that she personally used and it ended up being close to 25 different items just in skin care on a daily basis. I don’t know who has time for this! I would have to quit my job to take care of my skin if I was to do all the steps she does, and this is not something that my disability insurance covers!

They went on to show the “dramatic before and afters.” Honestly, the way the representative/esthetician/makeup artist, applies product to the person’s face rivals a boxer in the ring. She would be a worthy opponent for Oscar De La Hoya. Ever notice how they cut away during the time that we are waiting to see the dramatic “after?” Well, trust me, they are applying a lot more than just more of the product that they are hocking. They are applying the equivalent to exterior house paint to cover the bumps and bruises that the poor model endures while these people rush to apply products. This is so that they can show that even a busy person has time for 25 steps in the morning.

The buzzer of my dryer startled me back in to reality. Good thing that my load of laundry had finished as I had all I could take of horse thievery that I was watching. Now, if only the T.V shopping networks just had something that would pull weeds for me?

At least once a month everyone at PCI gathers in our lunchroom to surprise someone of the staff whose birthday happens to be in that month. Sometimes they do not suspect it and are truly surprised and others (like me) really do know what is going on. The fun is not in the actual surprise rather it is how we get someone into the lunch room.  Sometimes it is as simple as “We need you in the kitchen” or as complex as “You received a delivery and it is in the kitchen.” or ” The garbage disposal is broken can you fix it?” My favorite was one that we did not use. It was Paula’s birthday and we had decided to lock all the doors and turn off the lights (she had gone out to lunch and was in the process of returning to the office and we thought it would be cute for her to return to a “closed” office.) Bryan suggested that we put a sign up “Caution Biohazard: Closed for Skin Care Repairs.” I think Paula would have thought that was funny, because she usually does. Once you get her going, she can laugh until tears spill down her cheeks and wreck her makeup. 

We also have a list of all employees’ favorites as far as cakes or pies. While nothing can compare to my Mother’s homemade Chocolate Soufflé some of the Costco cakes that we have had were really good! It always amazes me the different types of people and their discriminating tastes. Some are ”frosting inclined” and others not so much. I remember past birthdays where people specifically requested a corner piece so that they can maximize the amount of frosting they would get. Now, that is obsession and I am not talking about the perfume!

There is also the part about singing Happy Birthday. The hardest part is when we have a lot of birthdays to sing. For example something like:  Happy Birthday Dear Bart, Deborah, Kate, Patrice, Roxanna, Karoline, Ann, Pablo, KoKo and Mark (Pablo and Koko our a few of the 11 dogs we have here in our office). A Verdi opera would be less challenging to sing some months (believe me, I know.) Also, if we leave the door open sometimes the customers on the phone can hear it. I had one customer ask what all the noise was in the background. I was pretty new at the time and so I told her it was the radio. She told me that I would lose my hearing if I kept listening to music so loud!

So next time you call in and hear a lot of noise in the background just ask whose birthday it is at PCI and I promise to to let you know!

Over the years that I have worked for Paula’s Choice many customers have asked “ You must use only her products right?” While I do use several of Paula’s products and follow her advice, one item in my cosmetics wardrobe that is not a Paula’s Choice product is mascara.

I’ve been wearing it since I was 11 and found a tube on my mom’s vanity table. I noticed it made my eyes appear larger, which was a great help given that I wore giant red Sally Jesse Raphael style glasses which made my eyes appear diminutive at best. Combine that with shoulder length mall hair, jelly bracelets, frosty pink lip gloss and I was quite a sight to behold.

Until recently, I had never found a mascara that truly performed for me in all aspects. Most had provided thickness but not much length, or length but not much thickness. Call me greedy, but I just really want a mascara to do both. Last December, while doing some Christmas shopping, I stopped into a local Sephora to check out a mascara I had heard about called Blackout by Dior. It was $25 and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend that much money on a mascara when Paula suggests several which cost much less. I justified this purchase on the principle that a $25 mascara is infinitely cheaper than a Hermes Birkin Bag.  I know Paula would cringe, I didn’t check her review of this product and I spent well over the amount she considers necessary. Thankfully Paula is patient and rarely cares about her employees straying from her path.

I tried the mascara the next day by itself without liner but with a bit of concealer and powder on my eyelids. I had to run to the grocery store for some last minute baking ingredients. As I am pondering the difference between pre-sifted and non pre-sifted flour a customer had asked if I wore false eyelashes or had eyelash extensions. When I told her they were not she asked which brand of mascara I used. This was the first time I had ever had someone stop me in all my years of wearing mascara, so it must be doing something right! The compliments did not end there, I probably did more business for Dior then some of their sales reps!

I’ve since purchased this product two or three more times while, of course, still trying the ‘latest and greatest’. It’s nice to know my Holy Grail of mascara is attainable for less than a designer handbag.