Before I came to work for Paula, I spent several years working for various cosmetic companies, usually at the department store. For the most part, I enjoyed it. I taught myself how to do makeup, and developed a loyal clientele of regulars who requested my advice on what to purchase or how to apply it. But whether I worked at stores in the Midwest, south, or northwest United States, one thing was constant: women shopping for a new lipstick routinely gravitated toward colors that were similar if not nearly identical to what was already in their purse or on their vanities.

Here’s how the average scenario went: a woman approaches the counter with determined gusto and surveys the lipstick tester unit. I greet her and offer assistance, to which her response is that she’s “looking for a new color”. After a few questions to narrow down her preferences (creamy, matte, sheer, bright or muted colors, etc.) I make some suggestions. Sometimes that worked, sometimes it didn’t. After some frustrating experiences, I began asking women to show me the lipstick they use most often. It was almost always a pink-brown shade or a nude color. That’s fine, but then why, if you’re shopping for a new color, did they end up choosing something barely different from what they routinely wear?

I’d suggest going lighter, darker, more shimmery, pinker, or even (horrors!) trying a red tone, almost always to no avail. I have spoken to many women about this over the years, including those in my family and personal friends. None of them could give me a reasonable explanation for why they shop for a new lipstick color and end up purchasing the same type of shade they’ve always worn. So I have my own theory: the novelty and excitement of shopping for a new lipstick, that one shade that will give you an added boost and make people take notice (for the better) is just too irresistible. It gets women to the cosmetic counter, but when it comes time to select a truly new color, they back down and stick with what’s safe.

Perhaps they don’t want to leave feeling they’ve wasted their money (nowadays a department store lipstick can set you back $23 or more) or perhaps common sense prevails and they rationalize that what they chose is different enough to work, and hey, they really will wear it. Maybe that’s why free gifts with purchase are so popular: women can spend the qualifying amount on a product they’re certain they like and will use, yet still have the impetuous fun of trying new colors without the financial commitment. As for me, I learned that if I only suggested “new” colors that were slightly different than what the customer typically wore, she’d leave happy—and I’d have my commission and, more than likely, a repeat customer!

Did You Know? According to a survey conducted by Estee Lauder, more than 80% of women own at least one tube of lipstick; Women over the age of 35 use lipstick more frequently than younger women; Paula’s favorite cosmetic lines for those looking for gorgeous red lipsticks include Revlon, Lorac, Vincent Longo, and Trish McEvoy.

I’ve witnessed the attacks from both sides of the counter. As a fragrance customer, I’ve had to stand and wait while two fragrance salespeople bicker over who was helping whom, who got so-and-so to make a purchase, and whose “turn” it is to ring in a sale. As a cosmetics employee at department stores, I’ve had to struggle with getting past the fragrance associates for a bottle of something a customer I’ve been working with wants to buy. Either way, entering this sea of sharks without knowing how to swim isn’t fun, and either way, it’s embarrassing for the associates and makes the customer uncomfortable. I don’t know what it is about fragrance salespeople that make them so competitive and, well, shark-like (ask anyone who works around these people what a “shark” is and they’ll know what to say).

In many ways, fragrance is an easy sell. After all, everyone wants to smell good, especially younger customers with money to burn (and significant others to find). I’ve rarely seen a fragrance salesperson have to work too hard to get a sale. In fact, I think the average car salesperson would find a day at the fragrance counters to be as stressful as a nap! There isn’t even a lot to learn in order to convincingly sell fragrances. Sure, knowing the brand history and individual notes (accords) is impressive, but what ultimately gets the consumer to buy is their personal impression of the scent itself, which is much more subjective than purchasing foundation or a moisturizer. It boils down to money, and how quickly it adds up for those who are aggressive in their tactics to sell fragrance.

Of course, that leads to all manner of drama (the thin-skinned rarely survive) that often plays out in front of customers.  That’s why when I shop for fragrance, I let the salesperson know I am testing scents on my own, and am not intending to make a purchase. If you say this firmly (but nicely) enough, they’ll leave you alone and move on to the next victim, er, customer. Of course, not all fragrance salespeople are shark-like but it seems such gentle fish are few and far between (maybe because they get stuck with the off-hours shifts?).

My advice to fragrance salespeople with shark-like tendencies: learn to share the waters and play fairly. There are more than enough customers to go around, and they don’t want to endure a behind-the-scenes drama as they shop and sniff.

When I first started writing my books I was not in the position to have a research staff. Back in the day it was just me with pad and paper in hand fortified with enormous drive and conviction. I was going to get the information I needed to do my work, hell or high water. Regrettably it was often hell and even more often then that high water.

I remember once in the early 90s I was at Lord and Taylor in downtown Chicago shopping with my mother. I was going to do my thing at the cosmetic counters while my mother shopped. As my mother went to the handbag department, I approached the counters ready to do battle with whoever was lying in wait to stop me from my goal.

My technique was always the same, I would tell the salesperson that my dermatologist wanted to know the ingredients in the products I was using or wanted to use so he could determine if they were right for me. (Okay, I know that is a blatant lie and I’m not proud of it, but the truth rarely, if ever worked. This was the only way to accomplish what I needed to write my books.) This lie almost always gave me some amount of access for a period of time which could last with out incident anywhere from 15 minutes to occasionally even an hour. I would stand off to one side trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, then, as best I could, I began writing down ingredient listings as fast as my hand could fly across my notepad. The goal was to get as much done as I could before anyone took notice of me because once they did at some random moment the inevitable was sure to happen.

In this instance, the inevitable happened after about 30 minutes. One of the women from the other counters observed what I was doing and that was the end of my work. Usually the salesperson just asks me to leave but in this case she had actually called the store manager down and he arrived with a security guard in tow. Can you believe that! The store manager and the security guard, you would think I was shoplifting or worse wielding a weapon of some kind, my only weapon was my pad of paper which the security guard took from me. Now that was a first.

He told me I was to leave immediately and they would escort me out. As innocently as I could (though my anger and frustration I’m sure came through) I asked what the problem was given I was only writing down information that was legally there for the consumer and that I was almost done and I was going to go shopping in other parts of the store (by the way, that part wasn’t a lie). But nooooo, the manager insisted the information on the label was proprietary (yah, right, proprietary my ass) and that what I was doing could get me arrested but because I was there with my mother he wasn’t going to call the police. It probably didn’t help that my mother was yelling at him with full voice exclaiming that he should leave her daughter alone, by then he wanted us out of there as soon as possible.

The reason no one else writes the kind of books I do is because no one would put up with the insults and threats I’ve dealt with over the years to do their research. From cosmetics salespeople to angry cosmetic companies, I piss off a lot of people. Thankfully, I rarely make my readers mad, 7 editions of my book later there are enough people who don’t want to go to the cosmetic counter without me that I will continue doing what I do, and putting up with insanity at the counters. Although nowadays, thankfully, I have a team of researchers who for the past four editions of my book have saved me from the wrath, fury, and peril that I had to put up with at the cosmetic counters in the past.