Our Cosmetics Cop Team analyzes hundreds of ridiculous, implausible, and downright false claims cosmetic companies make about their products every day. Even when beauty products really do turn out to be excellent formulations, the marketing mumbo jumbo used to describe them is akin to a Looney Tunes cartoon about skin care more than anything else. We wanted to share with you our top five product claims that just had us rolling our eyes last month.
1. Avon Anew Clinical Body Contouring Treatment ($25 for 5 oz)
Claims: “Tightens, smoothes and lifts in all the right places. Lifts sagging and reduces crepiness. Nearly 100% of women showed tighter skin on abs, hips and thighs, plus more lifted buttocks. Up to 93% showed firmer skin. Up to 50% more lifted buttocks.* Up to 50% tighter skin. Instantly skin feels firmer and more toned. In just 2 weeks 82% of women saw a more contoured-looking body. Over time reduces the look of excess skin on abs, hips, thighs and buttocks; works like an invisible body shaper to minimize unwanted curves.”
The first thing we asked is how does this product know what needs lifting and what doesn’t, given you’re applying it all over? Also, when would it know when to stop lifting? Who needs their thighs up around their waist? 100% of women had tighter skin, but only 93% had firmer skin? And up to 50% tighter skin? First, what’s the difference between firmer and tighter, and second, who was doing the counting because these are the oddest totals ever? And what does 100% of women mean? If there were two women who worked for Avon that would be 100%? It’s just all utter nonsense. There isn’t one ingredient in this product that is going to change the shape of your body. Perhaps this product should be called Clinical Downsizing of Your Wallet for $25!
2. ReVive Serum Presse ($295 for 1 oz)
Claims: “Instant gratification in a bottle…the first RéVive serum to give skin the look of instant lift and radiance. Noticeably lifts and firms the skin immediately with an advanced polysaccharide tensor while brightening soft-focus optics give skin an instant glow.”
Notice the words “the look of” before “instant lift.” That’s a clever way of stating what consumers with sagging skin want to hear, but in truth it isn’t saying your skin will be lifted at all. Quite the contrary, all you’re getting for $295 for 1 ounce is “the look of lifted skin” but that isn’t remotely the same as actually lifting sagging skin back into place. And even if it could do that, what happens to the excess skin? Does it shrink? Of course not, and there isn’t one ingredient in here that will give you the results you are hoping for. As for the “soft-focus optics” this is supposed to contain, it is a sham way to describe the shiny particles this product contains, the same shiny particles a $10 blush uses.
3. Clarins Fix’ Make-Up ($25.50 for 1 oz)
Claims: “A refreshing mist that sets make-up and prolongs its hold, while providing a feeling of instant freshness and well-being. Also provides continuous hydration and comfort.”
We couldn’t believe our eyes when we read this claim! There is nothing about this that translates to a real-life experience. It is designed as a spray-on mist to set your makeup, but this product does little more than make skin feel damp and slightly sticky. It contains nothing that enhances makeup wear; in fact, overdoing this can lead to makeup meltdown or streaking. Plus the fragrance from both synthetic and plant extracts are over the top and made us gag. Whoever thought this overpriced, gimmicky product was a good idea needs to rethink their career!
4. Nu Skin AgeLoc Gentle Cleanse & Tone ($53 for 2 oz)
Claims: “Gently purifies and primes skin morning and night. This sophisticated foaming cleanser combines cleansing and toning into a single step, while providing the skin with advanced anti-aging ingredients. This luxurious formula delivers your first infusion of ageLOC and leaves your skin feeling soft and refreshed.”
We had to double-check the price for this cleanser to make sure we weren’t seeing things, as this just may be the most expensive cleanser in the cosmetic world that ends up being nothing more than an exceptionally standard, detergent-based water soluble cleanser, and we mean really standard. Even if it did contain anti-aging ingredients, in a cleanser it would just be rinsed down the drain. Yes this works to clean skin and remove makeup, but the price is sheer lunacy. Similar cleansers are available from Olay, Neutrogena, Clean & Clear, and Paula’s Choice for a fraction of the cost (and in sizes that won’t be depleted in two or three weeks).
5. Serious Skin Care Eyetality Total Eye Care ($36.50 for 0.5 oz)
Claims: “Eyetality takes a leap into the future of skin care and brings you our first all encompassing eye beauty treatment that addresses each and every specific need of the complete eye area.”
Talk about outrageous claims—how can any one product take care of each and every specific need of any area, especially considering this product doesn’t contain sunscreen! What about that need, given the wrinkles around the eye are almost all about sun damage, shouldn’t a “Total Eye Care” include an effective SPF? Even more implausible is the fact that there are no skin-care answers for puffiness, droopy lids, dark circles, or pouching around the eye. This is just yet another addition to the thousands of eye creams on the market making the same claims they can’t live up to.
We just had to throw in one more:
6. Glamoxy Snake Serum ($150 for .85 oz)
Claims: “This revolutionary oxygenated, viper-inspired serum contains syn-ake; a neuro peptide that mimics the effects of the Temple Viper’s potent venom to instantly lift the face, freeze muscles and plump fine lines and wrinkles.”
We had to hiss at every claim this product makes. It is nothing more than a pathetic attempt to prove Glamoxy can mimic the affect of Botox. The entire notion is laughable and completely bogus. Snake venom doesn’t work like Botox in any shape or form. First, given you are applying it with your hands, if Glamoxy actually worked, wouldn’t the muscles in your hand be frozen as well? You would also likely be applying it to areas of your face you don’t want to freeze. The star ingredients listed on this product’s website with names such as Proturon and Ronasphere are trade names for sodium hyaluronate and silica, which are about as special as white bread! These are standard ingredients and completely without any Botox-like properties for skin.
Another overblown ingredient is listed as Fiflow BTX which is supposed to carry oxygen to the skin. The actual ingredients for this are perfluorohexane, perfluoroperhydrophenanthrene, perfluorodecalin, and perfluorodimethylcyclohexane, which obviously are not as impressive sounding as Fiblow BTX. These substances are fluorocarbons that do indeed bring oxygen to lungs in some medical situations, but the effect on skin, if any, is not known. After all, oxygen causes free-radical damage. Not to mention the EPA is considering taking these off the market. All in all, this product gives an entirely new meaning to the term “snake oil.”
Now let’s hear some of your favorites…
