The May issue of Harper’s Bazaar arrived with a stunning photograph of Halle Berry on the cover and an article inside about whether or not a daughter will inherit her mother’s face. The skin care-themed article actually had several good pointers on what to do to avoid making the same mistakes that Mom may have made such as not using sunscreen, smoking, and engaging in yo-yo dieting. Also included were several snapshots of younger celebrities and their mothers. Of course, in every case the younger women looked better than the older women. A woman in her 20s or 30s isn’t going to see much sagging or pronounced wrinkles, but that’s typically not the case as she enters her fourth, fifth, or sixth decade of life, especially if sun protection and sun avoidance wasn’t practiced daily. But in this case, most of the older women (including Ivana Trump and Goldie Hawn) have so obviously had cosmetic corrective procedures done that there’s no way anyone would believe that they’ve chosen to age naturally (just compare their faces to younger pictures of themselves, something Bazaar didn’t include).

Here’s what really got me about this article, though: if you read between the lines, you’ll see it’s essentially a thinly veiled advertisement for the latest anti-aging products from Chanel, Lancome, Estee Lauder, and Olay. All but one of the experts quoted are those behind the very products the article recommends for women at various ages. Noted dermatologist Patricia Wexler recommends women use a sunscreen with antioxidants. OK, that’s great. She doesn’t recommend one of her own products, which is rather objective, but instead her idea of what qualifies as a good sunscreen with antioxidants is Chanel’s UV Essentiel SPF 30+. This sunscreen contains a hefty amount of zinc oxide, but its base formula is mostly water and alcohol (which causes free-radical damage and that hurts skin). Antioxidants or any other beneficial group of ingredients are in short supply, with all but one appearing after the fragrance. And it costs $48 for 1 ounce, so you’ll be replacing this every two weeks if used correctly (meaning liberal application). Talk about bizarre! Dr. Wexler what were you thinking, did they pay you to recommend this?

The article also recommends Olay’s expensive Pro-X eye cream with no mention that their Nutrients, Definity, and Regenerist brands offer nearly identical products for less money. Olay Nutrients just launched and they are as well formulated as any in the Olay groupings, and less money. Other new products that get a sterling recommendation with no regard to formula or packaging include Lauder’s Time Zone daytime moisturizers (the ones packaged in jars—which mean the ingredients won’t stay stable) and Lancome’s overhyped yet truly underwhelming Genifique serum (this formula is just embarrassing). All of these products were deemed “best anti-aging buys” but when you consider what you’re getting for the money, all but one of them are mediocre buys, and that’s being generous. I’m not sure others will notice, but just a quick scan makes it impossible to ignore that it can’t be an accident half of the products recommended in this article had glossy ads appearing elsewhere in Bazaar.

Can a friend tell a friend she doesn’t like her hair?  makeup?  shoes? outfit?  Some might say, “Who are we to judge?”  My response, “We’re women, and we all have an opinion about how other women look!”

After reading hundreds of fashion magazines and watching countless celebrities walk down the red carpet, we judge other women’s appearance all the time. Who wear’s this dress better?  Brittany, Nicole, Kate?  We comment and critique appearance all the time, but it seems to be okay only if it’s a stranger or a celebrity or someone we’re “gossiping” about, not someone we care about.

As a psychologist, what I find most fascinating is that I can tell my friends something I don’t like about their husbands, their jobs, their kids, or the way they handle splitting a restaurant bill, but I can’t tell those same women to lose the black hair dye, stop over-bleaching their hair because it looks like straw, or change foundations because the one they use makes them look like they’re wearing spackle.

How do I tell a dear friend that her bulky unplucked eyebrows look like a forehead moustache, or tell another friend that her thick gray mane that she thinks makes her look like a feminist, actually makes her look like she’s ready to go out Trick or Treating.

So, what’s a beauty critic to do? Just ask my sister, which is why she reviews products and not the way women look?

My recommendation is to be open to feedback. Talk to your friends whose beauty sense and compassion you trust and ask them “What do you really think?”  Then listen openly, undefensively.  You don’t have to take anyone’s advice.  You can do whatever you want.  But, most importantly, know that if a friend doesn’t like something about the way you look, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.  Quite the contrary, I believe loving friends tell each other what they think.  And always remember, that whatever you might do, hair grows back, roots grow out and makeup washes away.

Over the past several years I have done media interviews and speaking engagements to women’s groups around the world. I have done presentation for thousands of women from places as far flung as Jakarta, Indonesia; Seoul, Korea; Stockholm, Sweden; Mexico City, Mexico; Singapore; Sydney and Melbourne, Australia; and Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and on and on.

From Toronto to Dallas and every place in between, no matter where I’ve gone, I’ve never had to change my topic of discussion. I don’t even have to do extra research because the cosmetics industry is so universally crazy, the advertisements so entirely deceptive, and the claims so utterly bogus all over the world that women ask me the same questions wherever I go. They want to know why a product they bought didn’t work. Why their wrinkles didn’t go away. Why their scar didn’t fade. Why their skin color didn’t change. Why they’re still breaking out or just starting to break out. Why they still have dry, flaky skin after buying so many products promising to change that. What is the best skin care ingredient? The exact same questions all over the world!

What almost always happens during my presentation is I see women get a look of understanding come over their face as they grasp how they have been duped time and time again by the cosmetics industry. There isn’t a part of the world where the cosmetics industry works any differently, or the products are any better (not in France, India, Japan, or anywhere), or the claims are any less farfetched. What all women want is to take the best care of their skin and look great as a result. Unfortunately, what most women fall into is the trap of believing the falsehoods propagated by a vast part of the cosmetics industry. Because of that,I am more than happy to get the truth out there and let women worldwide know what really does work to improve their skin.

Economic times are hard now. However, in the midst of all the bad financial news an uplifting study released by the Center for Women’s Business Research caught my attention. The following statement was simply very exciting: “As of 2008, there are a total of 10.1 million firms owned by women, employing 13 million people and generating $1.9 trillion in revenues.” (Source: http://www.womensbusinessresearch.org/assets/1059_pressreleasewomenown20per.doc)

I am proud to be part of that statistic. I was born an entrepreneur. I have worked for myself since 1980. A potent mix of genetics and personality has shaped my career as far back as I can remember.

In essence, I’ve just always wanted to be the boss. Just ask my family. Just ask my boyfriend. Just ask my employees.

Tedious rules and onerous work environments have always fit me like a pair of one-size-fits-all panty hose, and let me tell you, those only go up to my knees.

There are three phenomenal things about being a business owner. The first is being able to steadfastly adhere to my philosophy about skin care without having to compromise my values, integrity, or ethics.

The second is that I can create the kind of office environment I want to work in. I treat all my employees as valued partners and everyone else must do the same with their coworkers. No job is trivial and no job is more important than someone else’s.

And last, I have the freedom to create a dog-friendly office. There are eight dogs who come to work every day with their owners. While some companies have coffee breaks we have doggie breaks with our coffee. It’s spectacular fun and always a breath of fresh air when we need it most.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t easy being an entrepreneur. It has been quite a journey, with ups and downs, successes and failures. But beyond any shadow of a doubt, it has always been worth every minute of the effort it takes to keep going. Being a woman business owner is my identity and for the years that I have been able to stay doing it, I am truly, truly blessed.

A few months back headlines in the British news mentioned that an ad for mascara in a popular fashion magazine wasn’t a picture of the model wearing the advertised mascara but, horrors of horrors, she was really wearing false eyelashes. When a U.S. reporter called to ask for my opinion about this revelation my immediate reaction was, you’ve got to be kidding. I thought this can’t be the first time anyone noticed this! In the 30 years I’ve been part of the cosmetics industry I’m fairly certain I have never seen an ad for mascara where the model wasn’t wearing false eyelashes (at least individual false lashes, meticulously placed).

What I found jaw-dropping is that these reporters and editors thought this was newsworthy. How can this possibly be considered news of any kind? Have these reporters (all women) never really looked at an ad for a cosmetic that closely before? Are we so easily fooled by something this obvious? Talk about missing the elephant in the room! Next thing you know the news will be reporting on the revelation that pictures in magazines are extensively retouched via sophisticated computer programs or that the makeup on the model is rarely, if ever, the product or products being advertised. And any model over age 35 without a trace of visible wrinkles? Give me a break!

Respectfully, I know that on some level we know these ads are phony, but the desire to believe otherwise, to want the fantasy that a mere purchase of a mascara, foundation, or anti-wrinkle cream can truly alter our everyday appearance to the sublime is overwhelming for most women. That’s where our hope turns us into gullible, susceptible innocents at the mercy of the cosmetics industry. We’re ready to believe whatever they tell or show us. And don’t think you aren’t influenced, because you are. Those ads generate humongous sales or companies wouldn’t endlessly spend millions of dollars every month on myriad ads in major fashion magazines and on television to get your attention.

If you want to avoid getting sucked in the next time you pick up a fashion magazine or see an ad on television, here are the basics to remember:

1. Models and celebrities in fashion advertising are already gorgeous, with perfect skin and features. They can be enhanced but they started out with the bar already set above us mere mortals. Every model has been further transformed by talented makeup artists, hairstylists, stylists, and lighting experts.
2. Even after all the coifing, styling, makeup, posing, and the thousands of pictures taken so the best one can be selected, the picture is still extensively touched up to remove or drastically soften any flaws. I’ll never forget the time a model told me that she doesn’t look as good in real life as she does in pictures.
3. The women in hair dye ads do not get that color from the dye being advertised. Those highlights and flowing tresses took experts a great deal of time to achieve. The look was accomplished in a salon after hours of processing and styling, not in the model’s bathroom!
4. The women in the ads for shampoos and conditioners did not get their hair to look that way because of any shampoo or conditioner. It took lots of highlights, blow drying, flat ironing, curlers, styling products, and on and on to achieve the look that finally gets photographed for the ad.
5. Regardless of the claims asserted and the claims about what studies show, if it sounds too good to be true, it isn’t true. All cosmetic companies hire labs to create studies that prove their claims. My favorite example is ProActiv. Their results are stilted and embellished. The research on acne treatment does not support what they claim is true for their products (even Jessica Simpson on her own reality show said Accutane is what cured her acne!).
6. Wrinkle creams don’t replace plastic surgery, Botox, dermal injections, lasers, or light treatments, regardless of the name brand or who is selling the product (and it’s often a doctor who performs the real deal procedures, which is incredibly disingenuous).

There are many products out there that can make a noticeable difference in your appearance. But trying to live up to the images used to sell these products—expecting your results will be the same—is the stuff dreams are made of!