Almost every cosmetics company you can think of sells at least one eye cream and many sell more than a dozen, yet no one needs a product specifically labeled as an eye cream! The cosmetics industry has done an outstanding job convincing women eye creams are essential to eliminate everything from wrinkles to sagging skin, dark circles, and puffiness around the eye.  We’re here to tell you to call off the search, it is wasting your time and money! Surprised? Read on!

Here are the facts:

• There is no research proving that the skin around the eye area needs something different from skin elsewhere on the face.

• There are no cosmetic ingredients that change dark circles under the eye or get rid of sagging, puffy eyes, or crow’s feet (these lines show up on the face and the eye area, which makes all the theories about eye creams even more foolish).

• What you get when you buy an eye cream is a small amount of product (often half the size of a face product) that, ounce for ounce, is twice as expensive.

• Eye creams are often sold as being gentle and fragrance-free, so they’re “safe for the delicate eye area.” So, in essence, you are being told the eye area gets the good ingredients and the face gets the bad ones. The entire face needs to be treated gently and not exposed to irritating ingredients. More to the point, most eye creams DO contain fragrance AND coloring agents!

• Most eye creams are packaged in jars and that is a problem because as soon as you open the jar, the beneficial ingredients (assuming there are some in the formula) begin to deteriorate due to light and air exposure. It’s also unsanitary to dip your fingers into a jar every day!

• No one in the cosmetics industry (ingredient manufacturers, salespeople, or cosmetic chemists) has ever explained exactly what ingredients the eye area needs that the face doesn’t when it comes to dry skin, wrinkles, puffy eyes, or sagging skin—and we’ve asked hundreds of people over the years!

• If a “face” product is well formulated for dry skin and fighting wrinkles, you can use it anywhere on the face and beyond.

There are many myths about why you need eye creams, but that is just what they are, myths. Day after day, week after week, year after year we are constantly told “I’ve tried everything to get rid of [insert eye-area concern here],” and yet the problem persists. Of course it persists; these products cannot work as claimed, and you’re being mislead and wasting your money, time and time again.

We’re not saying you don’t need a brilliantly formulated moisturizer for around the eye area; it just doesn’t need to be labeled an eye cream with a higher price tag than the accompanying face product. Here are some brilliant examples of products that can and should be used around your eyes:

• BeautiControl Cell Block-C New Cell Protection SPF 20 ($31)
• CeraVe Facial Moisturizing Lotion PM ($13.99)
• Clinique Super Rescue Antioxidant Night Moisturizer ($42.50; available  in three versions for different skin types).
• *Olay Pro-X  Deep Wrinkle Treatment ($47) or Olay Total Effects 7-in-1 Anti-Aging Moisturizer Mature Skin Therapy ($18.99)
• Paula’s Choice Moisture Boost Hydrating Treatment Cream ($18.95)
• Paula’s Choice RESIST Barrier Repair Moisturizer ($22.95)
• Paula’s Choice Skin Recovery Super Antioxidant Concentrate Serum ($24.95)
• SkinMedica Rejuvenative Moisturizer ($50)
• Vichy Reti-C Intensive Corrective Care ($30)
• Yes to Carrots Daily Facial Moisturizer with SPF 15 ($14.99)

*The Pro-X product has a creamy texture (more like an eye cream) while the Total Effects product has a thinner, lotion texture.

For an extensive list of the best antiaging products, including moisturizers that do double-duty as eye creams, visit CosmeticsCop.com and click on the link to our product reviews on Beautypedia. During the entire month of January, everyone can enjoy FREE access to Paula Begoun and The Cosmetics Cop Team’s extensive database of product review!

Tips for dealing with dark circles:

• First, stop searching for an eye cream claiming to eliminate dark circles; none of them work as claimed.
• Use sunscreen daily to keep circles from becoming darker.
• Apply a good concealer to lighten and brighten the undereye area.

For more tips on dealing with dark circles, click here.

Tips for dealing with puffy eyes:

• Many cases of puffy eyes are due to allergies; taking an over-the-counter antihistamine can help a lot (be sure you check with your physician before adding a new medication to your routine).
• Try sleeping with your head slightly elevated to minimize undereye swelling
• Keep cool compresses (such as a gel eye mask) ready to reduce morning puffiness

For more tips on dealing with puffy eyes, click here.

The topic of my July 29 Online Radio Show (you can link to the archived version here) was how to achieve a face-lift (or a close proximity) without surgery. Our guest was Dr. Brandith Irwin, a board-certified cosmetic dermatologist who is author of The Surgery-Free Makeover.

I know all of you would like The Cosmetics Cop Team to say we found some miracle product with some miracle ingredients from some remote part of the world that can provide the results you can get from cosmetic corrective procedures and surgery, but they DON’T exist. Hundreds of companies tell you otherwise, but they are absolutely lying.

We started out the show having a lot of fun reviewing some of the ridiculous products from Bremenn Labs that are the epitome of what kind of insanity lurks behind almost every infomercial, department store, drugstore, salon, spa, or home shopping cosmetic brand. Bremenn Labs actually sells products called Tummy Tuck in a Box, Boob Job in a Box, Butt Lift in a Box, and Upper Eyelid Lifter. I didn’t know whether to laugh, throw up, or cry. Admittedly, it’s hard to laugh when you know women are wasting their money on this kind of stuff every day.

After explaining why Boob Job in a Box was not even close to the real thing, we talked to Dr. Brandith Irwin. She went over details of what can really be done with cosmetic corrective procedures such as Botox, Thermage, Fraxel, dermal fillers (such as Sculptra, Radiesse, Restylane, or Artefill), and laser and light therapies. I know, I know, they’re pricey, but with all the money you’ll save by not buying useless “Works like [insert cosmetic corrective procedure here] …” skin-care products or pills or drinks claiming to get rid of your wrinkles, sagging skin, and furrowed brow, you’ll be able to afford the things that really work.

Dr. Irwin also touched on expectations and the results you can achieve with different procedures. Botox and dermal injections produce the fastest and most impressive results. Facial peels are also impressive, but that is completely dependent on the strength of the peel and the know-how of the person applying it. Machines such as laser, IPL, or Thermage are less impressive in the short term but are extremely effective when a series of treatments are done.

It is also important to keep in mind that if you have advanced sun damage and sagging that a non-invasive procedure won’t make you look like you just had a face-lift. That’s why it’s important to consider these treatments before you start looking older. Ongoing, preventive maintenance goes a long way to delaying the decision to actually have a cut-and-paste surgical procedure.

I often hear women say to their female friends, “You don’t need anything like a face-lift or lasers—you look fine!” First of all, none of us just want to look “fine.” Second, are women supposed to wait until their friends say, “Wow, your skin is looking like a bad piece of leather and hanging down like a worn pair of drapes!”? The idea is to treat your skin to prevent sagging and wrinkles, not wait until you’re looking in the mirror and wondering who that old lady is staring back at you.

As with every radio show, we took questions from several women and gave away an assortment of Paula’s Choice products. The combination of brilliant skin care along with carefully selected cosmetic dermatologic treatments is the smartest way you can truly look younger, longer. And isn’t that what most of us want? I know it’s what I want and why I see Dr. Irwin three or four times a year for my touch-ups (which include Botox, Fraxel, and fillers). I know some day I will bite the bullet and have full-on cosmetic surgery, but for now, if I do say so myself, I think I look pretty damn good!

I have been following Paula and her Cosmetics Cop Team’s work for years. Some of that is because I will test new skin-care or makeup products at the drop of a hat. So when the opportunity came up to get paid to test a new product by Clarisonic (of the Clarisonic Skin Care Brush) I jumped at the chance. It’s called Opal Sonic Infusion System, which they claimed would reduce my visible signs of aging. I mean really, who could pass this up?

When I arrived to pick up my Opal Infusion System I was given these instructions:

• It was a 12-week (3 month) trial
• I was to return monthly where they would photograph my face to document any improvements
• They’d be testing my skin for hydration and elasticity
• I was to arrive at the monthly follow-up sessions without any makeup around my eye area
• I was to use the battery-powered applicator and serum provided, twice a day, preferably at the same time every day
• I was told to only apply the serum to the crows feet area around my eyes
• At each monthly “check up” I would be completing a survey to record my feelings regarding the product and its effectiveness

After reviewing their requirements, I thought “OK, simple enough, I can do this!” That evening it was time to try my first application. The system itself is compact and cleverly designed (think of a flat egg with a silver “crack” across the middle) with the serum stored in the top part of the egg and the bottom portion of the egg containing the “sonic” applicator. Following the instructions, I pressed a button on the side which dispensed a pre-measured pea-sized amount of serum on the applicator. I switched the applicator on, which started the vibrating motion and pressed it against the “crow’s feet” area of my face, rotating the applicator in a circular motion.

The feeling was a bit odd; for those of you who have used a Sonicare toothbrush it was the same strange tickling feeling except on your skin—not in your mouth! After 30 seconds the applicator beeped and shut off, automatically. Once it was ready to go again, I repeated the steps around my other eye. After 60 seconds, as promised, I was done! Easy enough!

I closely examined the skin around my eye area. Nothing had changed—I looked exactly the same just a little greasy due to the residual serum (which by the way is very nice, goes on smoothly and absorbs quickly). Oh well, this was only the first day of testing. I decided to give it more time to work its anti-wrinkle magic (clearly this test was not the least bit scientific; I was waiting for a miracle which skews any results anyway)!

Next morning I found myself in the bathroom using the Opal Sonic Infusion as instructed. Before I started, I was surprised to see that the fine lines and wrinkles around my eyes actually looked better! I couldn’t believe it! With great enthusiasm I applied the serum with the special powered applicator again. But my enthusiasm was short lived when I noticed later in the day my fine lines and wrinkles were as before. I stuck to the plan and used the Opal Sonic Infusion that night. Once again, I saw the same impressive results the next morning. This pattern continued for the rest of the trial—elation in the morning, disappointment by the end of the day.

I wondered how this could be. Why do my crow’s feet look better in the morning, yet go back to their normal state in the evening even though I use the Clarisonic in the morning and evening? As I faithfully completed the trial test period I came up with a theory as to why I was experiencing daily ecstasy and agony over my crow’s feet: Was the constant vibrating of the Clarisonic applicator slightly irritating my skin, causing it to swell, thus making my wrinkles look less pronounced? By the end of the day the inflammation calmed down, which would explain why 8-10 hours later my crow’s feet returned to their normal state. If my theory was true, could the inflammation the Opal Sonic Infusion was potentially causing eventually result in my crow’s feet getting worse over time?

After the trial was over, I stopped using the product but my attention was still completely focused on my eye area. Day one, two and three: no change; however, on day four I did see a change. My eye area looked worse. I didn’t see more crow’s feet but those I have looked deeper and more pronounced. Nothing got better after 12 weeks—the wrinkles got worse.

My conclusion? This new Clarisonic device is a sonic BOMB. I, for one, have no desire to spend $245 to make my wrinkles get worse—time will take care of that all on its own for free!

On a positive side note, the serum was actually very nice. It went on smoothly and absorbed quickly and my eye area felt hydrated and refreshed. If Clarisonic sold the serum separately without the applicator, I would consider purchasing it! I emailed The Cosmetics Cop Team and asked them about the formula (they urged me to blog about this). The team responded by telling me it was quite good because it contains the type of ingredients that can help skin look and act younger—though they explained (and I agree) that Paula’s Choice Resist Super Antioxidant Concentrate Serum was even better and much less expensive. Between the lower cost and better results, my eyes look younger just thinking about it!

Our Product Development Manager, Kate, recently gave me a lab sample of a new product she and Paula are working on for the RESIST line. It’s a serum with retinol, an ingredient which typically makes me run scared. It’s not that I’m unaware of what a great ingredient retinol is for skin (if you’re only going to use one antiaging ingredient beyond a good sunscreen, retinol or retinoids should be it), but my skin and retinol don’t have the best relationship. In fact, retinol is sort of like the out-of-town relative you love to have visit, but for no more than a couple of days. Beyond that, things start unraveling. The shine wears off, and you’re reminded of why you don’t suggest said relative stay for a whole week.

Kate can get very enthusiastic about the Paula’s Choice products in development, and she was practically giddy over this serum. Her enthusiasm was contagious, as I willingly agreed to try it, past history with retinol be damned. Imagine my surprise when I actually liked the product. I really liked it because after using it for just one night, my skin looked better. It was smoother, brighter, and, if I’m not mistaken, a bit firmer too (or at least it felt firmer). Being aware of the placebo effect, I kept using the product and monitoring the results. That’s when things got interesting…

By the fourth night in a row of using this concentrated retinol serum (it has an amazing texture and is really easy to apply) I was sure the results weren’t just placebo. How? Because in addition to my skin, including minor wrinkles, looking better, it was also looking worse—a side effect I’ve experienced with other retinol products, but this was different…it was a better kind of worse.

Allow me to explain: Lots of people cannot tolerate efficacious levels of retinol (at least not daily) because they get a strong kickback as it works. Redness, peeling, or skin feeling sunburned are not uncommon side effects. I’ve experienced all of these in the past, which led me to develop what I thought was a case of “retinol-itis.” The cure? Avoid anything with retinol, period. But I’m glad I wasn’t so resolute about that because I discovered the side effects from this retinol serum were brief and fleeting. I adjusted usage to once every two days, then two days off, and my skin acclimated beautifully! The initial peeling and minor sensation of sunburn (there was no visible effect) went away—and my skin keeps improving! Not only are my fine lines becoming much less apparent (though, full disclosure here, they weren’t all that obvious to begin with), but my skin tone is much better and minor freckles are fading. It appears I can finally use retinol as an ally in my fight against signs of aging!

All of this is to let you know I am over my retinol-itis thanks to this potential new serum from Paula’s Choice! I’ll make sure Paula gives this retinol serum strong consideration for approval. It’s a marvelous formula that I know our RESIST customers will love.

Exhaustion has set in big time. I’m tired of saying so much about the cosmetic industry as I watch it endlessly spiral out of control in an ugly tangle of lies, half-truths, and just plain idiocy. I don’t know what else to do to help women, so I keep writing and ranting. Maybe I just need a new job because the business of beauty seems to be getting worse, not better. I think some people would call what I’m going through burnout; after 30 years I’ve probably passed burnout and am on my way to the loony bin!

We’re dealing with an incessant parade of beauty products, and the claims keep getting crazier. There are products with stem cells, growth hormones, all sorts of exotic plant extracts, neuropeptides, and on and on. Oxygen therapy won’t go away, either: I actually had a salon in France spray my scalp with pure oxygen to encourage hair growth! Topical products aside, there’s also beauty pills being promoted (as if there are only certain vitamins or plant extracts that help skin make collagen, elastin, and get rid of wrinkles), and carbon dioxide injections which are supposed to get rid of excess fat, scars, wrinkles, you name it. Never mind that all of these conditions are physiologically unique—apparently, good old CO2 can do it all! Perhaps the saddest thing is that women fall for this stuff like kids in a candy shop, pleading for more just like the hungry orphans in Oliver!

But let me get to the most typical stupidity at the counters, drugstore, spas, infomercials, and in-home sales companies around the world: eye creams. Though I have said it hundreds of times before maybe the 1000th time will finally be the charm: there is no need for a separate product for the eye area labeled as an eye cream. If a product is well-formulated and is appropriate for your skin type, it would work just as well for the face as for the eye area. The eye area doesn’t require different ingredients than the face (assuming both have the same skin type: dry, oily, etc). If anything, most eye creams don’t contain sunscreen which would make them little more than wrinkle-causing creams. And don’t get me started on the jar packaging they usually come in, either, because that irks me to no end.

There are absolutely no eye creams that can deal with dark circles (that’s either from natural melanin color or thin skin that shows muscle and blood vessels through skin), puffy eyes (that’s either genetic, muscle laxity, or from fat pads pouching through), or eliminating wrinkles (Has anyone ever bought an eye cream that got rid of wrinkles? I mean, really!).

The myths about why you need an eye cream abound:

• Dark circles are caused by poor circulation. They aren’t. If anything, increasing circulation would cause blood vessels to be more apparent under thin skin. Thin skin around the eye can also make the color of muscle around the eye look more apparent. As I mentioned above, dark circles can also be about the skin’s natural melanin content. Other than a skin lightener with hydroquinone (which actually isn’t the best for use around the eyes), it’s almost impossible to change melanin-related dark circles without a medical treatment such as Intense Pulse Laser or other laser system. But even if circulation was the issue, what ingredients are special for that and why doesn’t the face need them too?

• The skin around the eye is more sensitive so it needs gentle ingredients. What pathetic reasoning! Why? Because the entire face needs gentle ingredients, not just the eye area. Needless irritation is bad for skin anywhere on the face, body, or eye area. Ironically, when you look at the ingredients in eye creams they aren’t gentler than other products! More often than not, they contain fragrance, coloring agents, or the same potentially irritating plant extracts as poorly formulated facial-care products.

• The skin around the eye is thinner so it needs lighter-weight ingredients. Now that is one of my favorites because it’s so easy to refute. All you have to do is look at the texture of most eye creams and you can readily tell the formulations are not lighter weight in the least! They are usually thicker than the face product. In fact, most face creams/lotions are often far lighter or just plain better formulated than the eye cream counterpart. Here’s what you need to know: if the skin around the eye is exceptionally dry it absolutely needs a more emollient product. That product may have a “heavier” texture than a standard facial moisturizer, but there are “heavier” facial moisturizers that work beautifully as eye creams. What does heavier mean anyway? It isn’t like you’re putting actual extra weight around the eye. It’s all about the texture, and eye creams don’t have a unique texture no other facial-care product does.

So there it is. If you’re still of the opinion that you need an eye cream and that there are special ingredients for the eye area over and above what the face needs, let me know. I will respond to the myths you’ve heard and maybe settle this issue once and for all (I know, wishful thinking, but that’s probably what has kept me in this industry for so long!).

I appreciate all your comments about my “How Do You Really Erase Wrinkles” blog . Thank you. They helped me frame my thoughts which were just all over the place. Mostly I just find this issue completely frustrating and I have for years.

I’ve been struggling against cosmetic advertising my entire career and I know this regulation from England is going to be completely worthless and ineffective. It can’t and won’t change a thing. It’s very much like all the other useless and meaningless cosmetic regulations Europe has been spewing about over the past several years (PAO symbols, anyone?) that hasn’t helped one consumer anywhere.

Here’s what it boils down to: every single beauty ad or infomercial we see is nothing more than mirages, but we willingly drink from the sand thinking it tastes like sweet wine. It is our own foolishness and gullibility that drives us to a trough filled with nothing more then lies and deceit. Even when we think we know better we just end up looking for a different mirage or a more enticing trough to drink from. If the lie is packaged to meet our sensibility and beliefs (think natural or organic products) then we believe it as a child believes in Santa Claus.

As maddening as our faith in cosmetic mirages is, where would we be without the smoke and mirrors the beauty industry crafts for us? Very few of us want to see the world as it really exists and most every woman wants to believe she can achieve some amount of the unachievable. Who wants that taken away?

When you think about it, we don’t even want to see ourselves as we really exist or why would we dye our hair, use nail polish, wear makeup, care about the clothes we put on, worry about breaking out, and on and on. If we can’t tolerate our own reality why would we want to see someone else’s?

Each of us, to one degree or another, has our own personal level of misrepresentation so why shouldn’t the cosmetic industry? (I certainly don’t leave the house looking like I do when I get out of bed, that’s for sure! And I wouldn’t want that flashed about on television or magazines). Most of us create a false facade of some kind and while it may not be Photoshop, it can often come damn close. (Do you want someone regulating how you show up looking on a date?)

Don’t misunderstand, I am thrilled Olay got caught. Their flagrant, gross alteration of Twiggy’s face was almost a bad joke. But what about the other countless companies that didn’t get caught who are getting away with murdering reality? Olay is hardly the only one or even the worst offender. Twiggy’s smoothed-over, digitally induced face reconstruction does not take the prize, Olay is just the company that got caught and had to deal with unfavorable publicity.

As for the claims, don’t get me started. Digitally altered pictures pale in comparison to the lies about a products potential performance when it is actually being used by consumers swayed by such duplicitous advertising.

Now that this story has made headlines and a new European regulation is most likely going to be instituted, I’ve been asking myself, what happens next? Is England or other European countries going to stop all misleading cosmetic or fashion advertising pictures? Would fashion magazines be empty? Would we go back to 16-year-old girls appearing in ads for wrinkle creams as they did in the past or would Europe make that illegal too (an age appropriate law for ads)? What amount of lighting, makeup, or skilled photography is going to be controlled? Should Twiggy have just gotten up in the morning, not brushed her teeth or hair and had her picture taken?

What about the covers of magazines? Those images sell the magazines and they are Photoshopped to the hilt. Should that be illegal as well? I can’t imagine what model or celebrity could fit the expectation of a fashion magazine cover.

One comment to my blog post about the Twiggy fiasco mentioned using some sort of disclosure on the ads but who would notice the fine print that says this is merely an enhanced picture, the real Twiggy doesn’t look anything like this? We would still want the fantasy.

From my perspective, trying to regulate cosmetic advertising in this manner is just a waste of time. Cosmetic companies will simply find a way around it and the result in this regard will be a detriment to older (meaning over 40) actresses and models who will find themselves out of jobs. Trying to regulate images of beauty doesn’t get women what they need or what they want. What does? Ignoring the glossy photos and unsupported claims and learning what really works and what doesn’t when it comes to looking one’s best. That’s where I hope my work has made some small dent in the almost impenetrable shroud of lies most of the cosmetic industry feeds women month after month.

T he answer to that question certainly isn’t from any cosmetic you can buy. Skin care can do a lot, but eliminating wrinkles isn’t among the benefits of even the best skin-care routines available. What is the real answer besides cosmetic procedures? Photoshop! It will stun some women and come as no surprise to others that the cosmetic industry relies exclusively on Adobe Photoshop (or some other photo-retouching computer program) to demonstrate in ads how effective their products are. They would NEVER rely on their products to demonstrate the dramatic results they endlessly boast you will get if you use their products because they know damn well such miraculous results are impossible.

A clear example of this artifice has popped up in the U.K. and is making news headlines over there. Here’s the saga:

Remember who this is? It’s Twiggy, circa 1969, the iconic, waif model who made emaciation a fashion statement that won’t go away.

But it isn’t her body or the spidery false lashes she always wore that is getting attention today. Rather it is the false, photo-shopped pictures of her appearing in magazine ads for Olay that have appeared all over the U.K.

Here is how Twiggy really looks in person circa 2008 (the photo is from an Elle awards show):

And here is how Olay wants you to believe she looks in their 2009 ads for Definity as a result of using their Eye Illuminator product:

And as advertising would have it here is another example of Twiggy’s photo-shopped visage in 2007 (the one on the left is the picture that appeared in ads for Marks Spencer and the one on the right is the real Twiggy).

Why Did This Make Headlines?

Olay launched their Definity Eye Illuminator Eye Cream this past summer with ads in magazines showing Twiggy’s face smoothed over like spackle does over cracks in a wall. Due to new advertising regulations in the U.K. from the Advertising Standards Authority the entire ad campaign was banned as being misleading (as if the claims weren’t misleading on their own, but that’s another story) and was “socially irresponsible” and could have a “negative impact on people’s perceptions of their own body image.”

Although Olay admitted to “minor retouching” around Twiggy’s eyelid area, her before and after pictures depict what is really going on, and it is hardly minor retouching by anyone’s definition except Olay’s.

But why pick on Olay? This kind of retouching shows up on hundreds of other models in most every single ad in a magazine that exists regardless if it’s cosmetics (false eyelashes pretending to be created by mascara) or clothing, or jewelry. Women and men are doctored up to look perfect. Is there anything wrong with that?

Your Thoughts?

Before I write about my feelings concerning this new development in fashion photography I would love to hear from you. I’m curious to know what you think about all this. Please comment and then I’ll let share my thoughts.

I recently received an email from a woman who disagreed with our reviews on some Avalon Organics products. Having people disagree with our reviews isn’t unusual, but this email stood out as being more irksome then helpful (we love helpful criticism). She stated she’s in her mid-40s and her biggest skin-care concerns are wrinkles and dark circles (how unusual right, as if there is a woman over 40 anywhere in the world who doesn’t have those concerns?). She wrote she had purchased a scrub from Avalon Organics, professing that she “fell in love” with the lavender smell (which made me think ‘uh-oh, we’re off to a bad start here’). She also let me know, in one of those tones that you can just feel oozing through the email that there’s “nothing wrong with lavender, we Europeans have been using it for centuries.” Great. So not only is she choosing skin care based on scent, it seems that somehow being European means the research about lavender that we’ve cited repeatedly (from European sources by the way) is wrong.

The email went on to explain that shortly after experiencing amazing results with the lavender scrub (which ingredient-wise is like getting excited over white bread), she went ahead and purchased a lavender night cream from Avalon. She explained she had been using it for a year, and one day, as she was staring in the mirror, she observed that her wrinkles and dark circles had vanished. Imagine that! Not wanting to deal with signs of aging ever again, she ventured out and purchased several more products from Avalon Organics (lots of people believe “more is better” when it comes to skin care, but that’s usually a recipe for trouble). Given the Avalon lavender formulas, there is no way her experience comes from these products. They contain plenty of synthetic ingredients next to the natural ones, come in jar and clear packaging (so the natural ingredients wouldn’t stay stable for very long), and the sunscreen contains synthetic sunscreen agents without any of the critical UVA-protecting ingredients.

She also mentioned that whoever writes our reviews should stay home and cook because we obviously don’t know what we are talking about. Actually, I happen to be a very good cook and would love to stay home and cook all day but I work for Paula and love doing that too (plus it helps keep my weight in check). How do you reason with a person who is convinced that lavender and the host of other problem ingredients and packaging shortcoming in her skin-care routine eliminated wrinkles and dark circles? The only way this is even remotely possible is if her wrinkles and dark circles were caused by dryness rather than sun damage and the products she was using previously were somehow even worse than Avalon’s (any moisturizer can make superficial wrinkles from dry skin look better).

When emails like this arrive, I typically steer the person toward the research we used to support what we write about the product and its contents. But with this woman, I really didn’t know what to say, she wouldn’t believe me anyway. It definitely made me wonder why she reads Paula’s books and online reviews!

Quick, let’s cradle our faces in our hands and gently pull back the skin at the bottom of our jaws towards our ears and see who we once were.  You know you do that.  We all do.  Who are we seeing when we stretch our jowls back through time?  To a time when we never thought to push the skin forward for a secret glimpse of who we were to become.

 At first, I see the smoothed gentle skin of my younger face.  Then, I see the me behind my eyes.  The me that Freud referred to as self.  Not the anatomy is destiny, me. It is when I let my jaw down, so to speak, that I look at the older, stranger me I am becoming.  My soul seems to age in dog years, while my body catapults forward in people time.  It really is okay, though.  I know there are options such as Restylane, Botox, and face lifts, but that is a step in the direction of Cher and Joan Rivers I’m not willing to take just yet.

I remember seeing my first serious wrinkle.  I was looking into a rearview mirror to put sunscreen on my face right before a five-mile run. Yes, I know.  You wouldn’t believe that by looking at me now.  But then, I was thirty years old and I noticed, for the first time, on the right side of my mouth a crease, a deep crease, an etched crease, a crease that seemed big enough to need its own tube of sunscreen. 

It surprised me.  “Wow,” I remember thinking, “when did that happen?”  But it was a singularity, a oner.  I didn’t get the foreshadowing.  So, I went for my run while my one-wrinkle face had begun an agenda all its own.

We do indeed focus on our aging skin.  And we all know we have better things to think about.  We all know this attention is existentially foolish.  We all know it’s self-indulgent vanity.  We feel a bit ashamed and a bit shallow.  There are far more important issues.

It’s petty, of course, this preoccupation with our post-menopausal, estrogen-deprived, sun-damaged skin.  Very un-Zen-like.  It’s so hard, however, to watch our beauty leak out through the sieve of time, to watch it sustain the relentless erosion of youth with peaceful detachment, especially when we live in a culture dominated by the priceless commodities of beauty and youth.

Phew, I’m out of breath just writing that last sentence.  And I probably just lost another few skin cells.

Young people, however, really are beautiful. And they’re all around us. We have to watch them for the rest of our lives.  And there will be more and more of them and fewer and fewer of us for the rest of our lives.  It’s like watching your best friend walking around with your ex-boyfriend, who dropped you.  You want him back.  You want to touch him.  You know it’s not fair.

Jaw up.  Jaw down. Yet, I am mainly content and at peace with my saggy skin.  My soft, fluid skin.  My moveable feast of flesh.  And while I know there is blight in the world that makes my facial woes truly insignificant, I’m having dinner tonight in my safe and quiet home with my dog and my husband, not in that order, knowing full-well that wrinkles are a luxury.